[ALF moves to Neal's apartment after he left the Tanners]
And this was my grandmother's snowstorm paperweight. See, when you shake it, it snows.
Whoa. So she left you the bulk of her estate, huh? [he drops the snowglobe much to Neal's shock] That was an accident. I swear. I was nowhere near it.
Um....that's okay, ALF. I still have the box it came in. These things happen.
Really? What else you got?
Willie sounded awfully mad on the phone. What did you two fight about?
What's it always about? I just invited some people over to talk about timeshare living in New Mexico.
Ooh, timeshares. Did they bring pamphlets?
Yeah. They were like Jehovah's Witnesses, only with prizes.
ALF, I'm awfully glad you're here. I was hoping I'd get a chance to talk to you about your amazing life.
Well, what do you wanna know?
Well, how far away was Melmac?
Well, that's a toughie. In feet? Pretty far, I guess.
Well, what solar system is it in?
I don't know. This may be a good time to tell you I was a P.E. major.
[doorbell rings]
[from outside] 'It's me, Willie.'
Oh, great. The fun police have arrived.
[doorbells outside of Neal's apartment to pick up ALF] It's me, Willie.
Oh, great. The fun police have arrived.
[opens the door] Hey, Willie. You didn't have to come rushing over.
I can't believe you'd run off like that. You know how worried we were? Neal, I'm sorry to burden you with our burden.
Well, that's alright. Actually, we were having a good time. He's a pretty fun guy.
Then you should see me in a dress. In a white wig I look exactly like Estelle Getty. I guess that's pretty obvious, though, huh?
Come on, ALF, let's go. You're still not off the hook.
Oh, yeah, the beating.
Willie!
Well, that's ridiculous. I never touched him.
But you want to, don't you? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Come on. Let's go.
Willie, he's shaking.
It's a ploy. Stop it.
You know, Willie, it might not be so bad if you let ALF stay with me for a while. Give us a chance to get to know each other and Lord knows you two can use some time apart.
I guess I could talk Kate into it. But, uh, you're gonna need a reliable fire extinguisher and fresh batteries for your smoke detector. You gotta put 911 on speed dialing. Trust me, you'll need the time. Make out your will and other than that, hey, have fun.
Thanks, Willie.
Lordy, lordy, I'm free at last. Don't hate me. [he leaves as ALF gets shocked]
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