[Willie comes in the kitchen and confronts ALF for all the people he invited to the house]
Willie! Don't you know how to knock?
You were going to eat that dish towel, weren't you?
This? I was just smelling it. Hoping for a contact high. [smells the towel]
ALF, they want to know why I smoke.
Willie, you smoke?
I want to help you, ALF, I really, really do. But you have to want to get better, too. Now, seriously why do you think you need to eat cotton?
I don't know.
But surely you can't be happy like this.
You're right, I'm not! I'm a wreck! Willie, I've got a monkey on my back! It's a mean monkey and it's hassling all the tourists for money! Make him go!
[voiceover] Willie?
Well, I hate for you to see me like this. Is my mascara running?
Okay. Okay, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna try to steer the conversation around to something that you can relate to. But this time, you have to listen. You understand?
Alright, alright. [Willie leaves the kitchen] Hey. Reformed smokers are the worst.
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