Hey, Kate. What's for dinner?
ALF, you just had lunch.
Your dinners highlight my day, Kate. But then again, I have no life.
Any luck?
No.
You know what I'd love to have for dinner tonight?
I guess I'm just gonna have to tell my boss that I can't show any more houses until we get a babysitter.
Porkchops.
Don't worry, we'll find somebody.
Maybe a nice ham.
You think we're offering too little? Maybe we should be paying more than $6 an hour.
Hey, hold it! Flag on the play. You're paying these people? I'll do it.
Did you call all the college papers, and every college-
Perhaps you didn't hear me. Thus, I'll say it again. I'll baby-sit.
No, I don't think so, ALF. It's nothing personal, it's just- Well, I guess it is personal.
Call us crazy, ALF. We just feel that we should have a human babysitter what with Eric being human and all.
Oh, I see. And have you thought about what happens to me, while that human babysitter rummages trough my fridge?
What do you mean your fridge?
Okay, it's your fridge, but the fuzz in the meat drawer is mine.
When the babysitter's here, you're gonna have to be in the attic.
Oh, great, prison. Why don't you just stick me in a sweatbox?
We're all making adjustments, ALF. You're not gonna be up there all that much.
Attica! Attica! Attica!
ALF, cut the dramatics. I'm just gonna be working part time.
But I've got an instinctive rapport with kids. It's a gift that all Melmacians share. That and the ability to suck milk through our noses.
My, you are blessed, aren't you?
As passionate as your argument sounds, ALF, the answer's still no.
But why? Why?
Why? Because you're irresponsible. You trash the house. You flooded the living room. You wallpapered the shower.
It was a rhetorical question.
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