ALF, Willie and others in “Funeral for a Friend”

ALF

[goes upstairs to the attic singing as Willie hides his ant farm behind his back] Hi, Lynne Helm. Will Helm.

Willie

Hi, ALF.

Lynn

Hi, ALF. I brought you a present, ALF.

ALF

Hey! An ant calendar. Thanks, Lynnie. The boys love reading about their distant cousins.

Willie

ALF, I think there's something you should know about your ants.

ALF

I know, I know. Ants can't read. It's just a little anthropomorphic game I like to play with them.

Willie

Actually, I was referring to something else.

ALF

What?

Willie

Well, you remember you told me what happens to orbit gnats when they fly too close to your ship's heat shield?

ALF

Yeah. Crispy critters.

Willie

Well, the same thing can happen to an ant when it's left in the sun too long. [gives ALF his ant farm]

ALF

They look dead.

Willie

They are dead.

ALF

You sure they're not sun-tanning? [he cries in shock after his ants passed away]

Lynn

Oh, I'm sorry, ALF.

ALF

[worried] My poor little goombas. An hour ago, they were working at the farm.

Willie

And now they bought it.