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S3 E20

ALF · Season 3, Episode 20

Willie, Kate and others in “Funeral for a Friend”

[laughs and tickles as he wakes up] Kate, cut it out!

Huh?

Tickling me.

No! I'm not touching you.

[wakes up and finds ants on him] There are ants on me. There, there are ants in my pajamas.

[sees ants on the bed] There are ants everywhere.

Yes, yes. I can see that, dear. I'll just get the bug spray.

I'll help you. [he and Willie go out from their bedroom] Why are there so many ants in the house all of a sudden? [she and Willie find food in the kitchen that ALF left on the floor]

Perhaps these strategically placed dishes of food might give us a clue.

Just once I would like to walk into this kitchen and not find something all over the floor.

Just go into the other room, Kate. I'll spray in here.

Why don't we just burn the place down and start over?

That'd be plan B. Plan A is, where's the bug spray?

I threw it away!

[mad] Why did you do this?

Do what? Throw away the bug spray? Or set up the teeny-weeny truck stops?

Eventually, you're going to have to explain both so start where you like and stop when I tell you.

I'm dedicating my life to the care and preservation of the ant species.

If you leave food all over the house, we are going to have ants everywhere!

It's the least I can do for them after I wiped out their kinfolk and everything.

ALF, inviting the remainder of the Earth's ant population into our house isn't gonna bring back your ant farm.

But I'll feel better.

ALF, you've got to get over this.

I failed to protect my pet ants, Willie. I'm not gonna fail with the general ant public.

Trust me, ALF. Your ants stand a much better chance of survival outside of my kitchen.

Wait a minute. I've got an idea.

Nothing doing. This time he's mine.

No, wait, wait Kate. ALF might not feel as bad about losing his ants if he just had a chance to say goodbye to them formally like, you know, like a memorial service.

A funeral for ants?

What a lovely idea. But I don't think it'll help.

Well, sure it will, ALF. Rituals are a very effective way of dealing with grief.

I'm just not up to it.

You'll have a funeral, we'll all come it'll be very touching! And it'll be over, right?

Right.

In the middle of a picnic.

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