[wakes up as hears a strange noise] What.. Oh. A stranger approaches. Steady, ALF. Steady. Don't soil yourself. [Jimbo jumps over the fence, he walks around the backyard, and gets caught in ALF's trap] Behold. Excalibur.
[comes to the backyard] ALF? What was that?
Willie, you're just in time. I caught a murderer! [Willie gasps and falls down to the hole that Jimbo fell on] Don't mention it.
He's out cold.
My guess would be that he hit his head on your sewer pipe.
[as she and Lynn arrive at the backyard late at night] What's going on, ALF?
Hero ALF.
Why is dad going through the pockets of man in a hole in our backyard at night?
Because we have an alien.
Oh, right. What are you looking for?
His wallet.
Okay, but we split 50/50.
I am looking for identification!
You're wasting your time! No criminal's gonna carry ID on him!
Unless he's an FBI agent.
ALF!
[gasps] I disavow any knowledge of my actions. Bye!
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More ALF quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's ALF pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.




