ALF, Trevor and others in “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”

[as he leaves the bedroom] Yo what?

Uh, yo-yo this, I guess.

What is it? It's a crumpled piece of paper with writing on it.

That's the poem that your uncle Trevor wrote to me last year When we renewed our wedding vows.

Oh, uh, read it, aunt Raquel.

[while reading the poem] To Raquel, the most wonderful woman in the world. You're the meaning of my life. You're the inspiration. You bring meaning to my life. You're the inspiration. I want to have you near me. I want to have you hear me saying, No one needs you more than I need you.

You threw that away? Don't you know how long it took me to write that? You didn't write that.

It's from a song by Chicago.

I mean it took me a long time to write it down.

Do you think I'm stupid, Trevor? I knew you didn't write this poem.

Why didn't you call me on it? Because it didn't matter.

What mattered was, is that you gave it to me!

Raquel, I meant every word I stole. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to tell you that I still love you, Raquel.

More than arena football?

Yeah.

I should know better than to try to change you.

Take me back, Raquel, hmm? I promise I'll try not to be a slob. Although in all fairness, you did know I was raised in a barn. [he and Raquel kiss each other and sit on the bed]

[ALF hears a strange noise from under the bed]

What was that? [Stomping.]

Ah! Leg cramp! Uh, why don't we all go get uncle Trevor's stuff?