[ALF and Jake get ready to meet each other]
Get away from me! Just stay away from me!
Wait! You can't leave. They'll think I broke the telescope.
Okay, I'll fix it. Just don't bite me.
Bite you? That's a good idea. I'll bite you, if you don't fix this. [snaps jaws]
Alright! Just don't tell my aunt and uncle I was taking it.
On 1 condition. You fix this telescope, and don't tell anyone about me.
That's 2 conditions. [ALF growls] Alright! You've got a deal. What are you, anyway?
I'm an alien from the planet Melmac. I have powers that you can only dream about.
Like what?
[thinks for a moment] I can watch television for 10 hours straight and not get up to go the bathroom.
You're the weirdest thing I've ever seen.
You should see me with my hair wet.
Do the Tanners know about you?
Yeah, they know all about me. Well, they don't know that I've had liposuction. Where'd you learn to fix telescopes? Cal tech?
No, my dad taught me. We used to find things in the trash and fix them. My dad could fix anything, especially horse races.
Wild guess. That's why he's in jail?
Yeah. Well, I'm done.
Wow! You're good! And fast!
It's no big deal.
No big deal? On Melmac, we only had one guy who knew how to fix things. They put him on display in a zoo, but the cage door was broken, so he walked away.
Good story. Is it okay if I go now?
Yeah, but remember our deal. You can't tell anyone about me.
Hey, don't worry. I live by the Ochmonek code. We don't squeal or tip.
The name's ALF.
Jake. [leaves] Bye.
Bye.
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