Hercule Poirot quotes from Agatha Christie's Poirot

Poirot

The name of Poirot is feared on golf courses all over the continent.

You don't happen to have a handicap certificate on you, do you, sir?

Poirot

No, no, I'm fine.

Hercule Poirot

It is nearly 11:00. It is important that I have my tisane punctually.

Of course, Mr. Poirot. It's nearly complete, you see. My system. Every one of your cases, classified and cross-referenced five different ways.

Hercule Poirot

Five?

Oh, yes. In this cabinet, names of witnesses. In this, name of perpetrator, if known, Victim's trade or profession, type of case. Abduction, addiction, adultery, see also under "marriage," bigamy, see also under "marriage," bombs.

Hercule Poirot

See also under "marriage"?

Hercule Poirot

Monsieur Waverly felt that Scotland Yard was not convinced about the seriousness of the case.

James Japp

So he came to you, eh, Mr. Poirot?

Hercule Poirot

Monsieur Waverly is a man of fine judgment and intelligence. Perhaps this is a serious matter.

James Japp

You think so, eh?

Hercule Poirot

I think better the safeness than the sorrow, Chief Inspector.

James Japp

Very true, Mr. Poirot, very true, if you've got unlimited manpower. We see a hundred of these every day, Mr. Waverly. If we was to go chasing about after every one...

Hercule Poirot

A hundred, Chief Inspector?

James Japp

Well, perhaps not a hundred. Mustn't be too literal, Mr. Poirot.

Hercule Poirot

Ah. Every day?

James Japp

Every week, anyway. This is some disaffected employee, some envious neighbor.

We're wasting our time, Mr. Poirot.

James Japp

No call to take umbrage, Mr. Waverly.

I'm a simple country squire. I pay my taxes, and I'm used to something in return. Now I know better.

James Japp

There are a lot of taxpayers, Mr. Waverly. There are even quite a lot of country squires. If we was to...

You're not only uncooperative, sir. You're damned offensive.

James Japp

As you so rightly point out, you are paying me to exercise my judgment and discretion as to what is a serious threat to public order and what is not, and this is not.

Your superior shall hear of this.

James Japp

I hope he enjoys it as much as I have.

Arthur Hastings

Why won't you let me drive you?

Hercule Poirot

Hastings, the train has one advantage over the car. It does not often run out of coal.

Poirot

I have a dinner engagement with my dentist.

Hastings

Your dentist? That's positively morbid.

But you're always trying to avoid him!

Poirot

Not at all. Off duty he's quite charming. Besides, he likes to see the end product at work.

It's only been three weeks since your last case.

Poirot

Three weeks is an eternity to a brain like mine. Without the constant stimulation, my little grey cells will starve and die.

Hastings

[The car]'s been running like a bird since I've fitted the new gaskets.

Poirot

Birds do not run, Hastings. When you were little, you should have paid more attention to your lessons in biology.

Hastings

You're really in a bad way, aren't you?

Poirot

Well, my friend, as one approaches the end, one begins to see life as it truly is.

Hastings

[Grieving over his now totaled car] The front axle's sheared right through.

Poirot

Oh, mon pauvre Hastings. [With sudden enthusiasm] But you must not brood! You must occupy yourself, eh? Go and telephone the Chief Inspector Japp and tell him we have caught his fish.

I've got your Friar's Balsam for you.

Poirot

My what?

Your inhalant for your cold.

Poirot

Poirot does not have colds, Miss Lemon. It is well-known that Poirot scorns but the greatest of afflictions.

But yesterday you-

Poirot

Miss Lemon, yesterday was yesterday. My tisane, if you please.

[observing some Blackshirts] Look at them. Troublemakers always looking for a fight.

Hercule Poirot

Perhaps. But for me, the English is more cold-blooded. His violence is more calculated.

[Noticing what looks like the beginning of an extramarital affair] Don't you think that human beings tend to reproduce certain patterns, Mr. Poirot? [Draws a triangle] Stereotype patterns?

Poirot

Précisément, madamoiselle.

Poirot

The mullet was excellent.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Poirot

Oh, yes. Where did you buy it?

What do you mean? I had to go out a long way for that!

Poirot

No-no-no-no, Major. Your interests are closer to the shore.

[Reluctantly] You're very sharp-eyed, Mr. Poirot.

Poirot

The sharp eyes are important in both our professions, Major.

Poirot

I feared such an outcome.

Then why didn't you do something?

Poirot

Do what? What is there to do before the event? Tell the police someone has murder in their heart?

There are so many streets. Where do we begin?

Poirot

Madamoiselle, we must now appear the mad English who go out in the midday sun. We must trust in the old town to give up her secrets.

Mrs. Clapperton

"You're so alive, Adeline," they say to me. But really, Monsieur Poirot, what would one be, if one wasn't alive?

Poirot

Dead, madam.