Chief Inspector Japp quotes from Agatha Christie's Poirot

Someone was trying to tell me you were going into the missing domestics business. "No, no," I said. "Not Poirot", I said. "Hard times or not, he wouldn't fall that far".

That's something in your line, Poirot. You like chasing about after the kind of triviality that leads nowhere.

Poirot says that 93% of all police work is a waste of time.

Hastings

Where is Mrs. Japp tonight then?

She can't abide fireworks.

Poirot

Ah, the noise disturbs the delicate sensibilities of many ladies.

Maybe, maybe. I think it's more that she doesn't like to see people enjoying themselves.

Hastings

Tell you what though, what a good night for a murder, eh? I mean, if somebody wanted to kill anybody, nobody would know if it was a gunshot or a firework.

Poirot

But not so good, my friend, if your chosen method is strangulation.

Hastings

No. That's true, no.

Or poisoning, come to that.

[About Charles Laverton West, MP] What a stuffed fish. No, not a stuffed fish. A boiled owl.

Poirot

As you say, Japp. More concerned about the newspapers than his fiancée being dead.

The Plenderleith girl was quite right about him. Mind you, he's a good looking chap. Might go down well with some women.

Poirot

Perhaps. But it would not do, I think, for them to have a sense of humour.

Poirot

It is satisfying, is it not, Chief Inspector, in a case when at last one knows everything?

I thought you already knew everything, Poirot.

Poirot

Well...

Japp, I hope you're not so short of manpower you're hiring a shamus. What are they good for, chasing lost dogs? This is a matter of international security we're dealing with here.

I have no intention of hiring anyone, Burt. And if you must know, Mr. Poirot here has an outstanding reputation.

Oh! A gumshoe of distinction. And I suppose Al Capone's running for president.