Hercule Poirot quotes from Agatha Christie's Poirot

Hercule Poirot

Of the digestive organs, the liver is the king. Look after the liver and life will take care of itself.

Poirot

Sometimes a lost dog can be found in a place so conspicuous it is the last to be considered.

Hercule Poirot

A man may labor and toil to attain a certain kind of leisure in retirement. And then find that, after all, he yearns for the old busy days, and the old occupations he had thought himself so glad to leave. I had already begun to miss the daily toil of my previous employment when, tout à coup, I was flung back into the midst of the most perversely fascinating work that there is in the world: the study of human nature.

Hercule Poirot

[after explaining to Hastings via manuscript how he deduced Stephen Norton was a killer and how he killed Norton] I have no more to say. Am I justified in what I have done? I do not know. I do not believe that a man should take the law into his own hands. But by taking the life of Norton, have I not saved others? I have always been so sure, but now? When the moment comes, I will not try to save myself but humbly offer my soul to God and pray for His mercy. It is for Him to decide. Ah, Hastings, my dear friend. They were good days. Yes, they have been good days.

Hastings

[Reading headlines from the newspaper] "Belgravian Overseas Bank Clerk Absconds With Fortune".

Poirot

How much is this fortune?

Hastings

Er... 90,000 pounds.

Poirot

No.

Hastings

It's a king's ransom, Poirot!

Poirot

When it is used to ransom a king, it becomes interesting to Poirot.

Well, let me tell you, Mr. High-and-Mighty Poirot, a good cook is a good cook. And when you lose one, it's as much to you as pearls are to some fine lady.

Poirot

[chuckles] ...Madame, you are in the right, and I am in the wrong.

Hastings

There doesn't seem to be any crime at all as far as I can see.

Poirot

No, it is a curious case. Full of contradictory features. I am interested. Yes, I am distinctly interested.

Poirot

And you, Hastings, do not you run away with such celerity. I have work for you too.

Hastings

Oh! Er... As a matter of fact, I was thinking of popping down to Sandown this afternoon... There's a horse running a pal of mine owns a leg of.

Poirot

When he owns four legs, I pop with you. But now it's time for work, yes?

Newspapers love scandals about banks.

Poirot

That is human nature, Mr. Cameron. But it is comforting for us mere mortals to know that banks too have their difficulties.

Hastings

Look at that view!

Poirot

Yes, well, views are very nice, Hastings. But they should be painted for us so that we can study them in the warmth and comfort of our own homes. That is why we pay the artist for exposing himself to these conditions on our behalf.

Hastings

What do you mean conditions? It's a wonderful day. Just fill your lungs with that air.

Poirot

No, my poor friend. This sort of air is intended for birds and little furry things. The lungs of Hercule Poirot demands something more substantial - the good air of the town!

Sarge, there's some French gent at the door.

Poirot

No-no-no-no, I am not some French gent. I am some Belgian gent.

Hastings

Where is Mrs. Japp tonight then?

She can't abide fireworks.

Poirot

Ah, the noise disturbs the delicate sensibilities of many ladies.

Maybe, maybe. I think it's more that she doesn't like to see people enjoying themselves.

Hastings

Tell you what though, what a good night for a murder, eh? I mean, if somebody wanted to kill anybody, nobody would know if it was a gunshot or a firework.

Poirot

But not so good, my friend, if your chosen method is strangulation.

Hastings

No. That's true, no.

Or poisoning, come to that.

You won't forget your dental appointment at eleven, will you, Mr. Poirot?

Poirot

Hercule Poirot does not need to go to the dentist, Miss Lemon.

You've put it off once already.

Poirot

My teeth are perfection. It is sacrilege to tamper with them.

[About Charles Laverton West, MP] What a stuffed fish. No, not a stuffed fish. A boiled owl.

Poirot

As you say, Japp. More concerned about the newspapers than his fiancée being dead.

The Plenderleith girl was quite right about him. Mind you, he's a good looking chap. Might go down well with some women.

Poirot

Perhaps. But it would not do, I think, for them to have a sense of humour.

When the boy brings your laundry back, he brings the letters back too for me to explain to him.

Poirot

And you do?

No.

Poirot

Why not?

I don't speak Chinese.

Poirot

So what do you say to him?

Well, I say: "Him collar no very good starchy". I show him the collars and say it.

Poirot

Hastings, my friend, you spent some years in China, did you not?

Hastings

Absolutely. Fine fellows, fine fellows.

Poirot

Did you ever have any trouble with your laundry?

Hastings

Yes, I did, as a matter of fact.

Poirot

And what did you say to them?

Hastings

Well, I said: "Him collar no very good starchy".

That's where I got it from, sir. I asked the Captain knowing he'd been in the East.

Poirot

But Hastings, my collars, they do not get any better.

Hastings

No. Neither did mine, now that I come to think about it. Why don't you get yourself some turn-down collars? They're much more the thing, you know.

Poirot

The "thing", Hastings? You think Poirot concerns himself with mere "thing"ness? The turn-down collar is the first symptom of decay of the grey cells!