Scratch quotes from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Failed again, did you?

Scratch

Why, no, your supreme awfulness, in fact we succeeded wonderfully!

In a kind of negative way.

SILENCE! YOU DUMBBOTS WOULDN'T KNOW SUCCESS IF IT BIT YOU ON THE BUMPER!

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Scratch

Whoa! He's leading them right to the cliff!

That's military intelligence for you!

(Sonic has forced the soldier robots to march with him and each fall off the cliff in tempo.)

(salutes) Squad! Fall out!

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What's going on here?!

Scratch

Uh, oh… we were just, uh… waiting for the news, your nastiness!

Yeah, that's right! We wanted to see if we did anything rotten today.

SILENCE!

SGScratch & Grounder

Yes, your rottenness!

How many times do I have to tell you two dingbats to do something useful with your spare time, like, uh… kissing my feet?

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Scratch

He called me a dingbot, and you said he didn't love me!

Okay. Why don't we have a race? Whoever catches Sonic first, is the one the master loves best! [rolls up to the doorway] Oh, and I'm the fastest! So if I were you, I'd quit now!

Scratch

[offended] Whoa-ho-ho! Anybody can be fast if they have tracks!

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All right, buddy, pull over!

Scratch

Aw, come on, officer! What'd I do wrong?

Let's go, buddy, down!

Scratch

Aw, fudge!

[takes out a notebook and writes down some notes] Operating an Eagle-copter without a seatbelt, operating an Eagle-copter without enough brains to run a little red wagon.

Scratch

Now wait a minute, officer.

No, you wait a minute! You robot chickens make me sick! Get a couple pints of motor oil in you and suddenly you're tough guys! Okay, mister, you chill right there.

Scratch

Golly, officer. How long?

Till you get a clue, geek!

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(Scratch puts the lever on the machine)

Scratch

Look what I did, I got it finished. I'm Dr. Robotnik's favorite lackey. (Professor Von Schlemmer is shown up tied on a tree)

VSVon Schlemmer

Well, I'm his favorite victim.

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As soon as I saw the dreamamajig, Dr. Robotnik, I knew you'd want to know about it!

Indeed! If I had that machine, I could terrorize all of Mobius!

I guess this means I'm finally gettin' my promotion, huh?

(shoots out of his chair) Promotion?! What for?! You should have swiped the machine and brought it to me, you nincombot!

But, but, eh... (Dr. Robotnik gives him a mop and bucket)

I'm demoting you to scrub monkey, third class! Now go and mop up the dungeon! (Pulls a lever and Coconuts falls into the dungeon. Then the door opens and Scratch and Grounder fall through)

Snoo-PING AS usual, I see?

Scratch

Not me! I didn't hear nothing about Von Schlemmer's dreamamajig!

Er... me neither! Especially I didn't hear the part about the clown!

Stop jabbering, you dingbots! I'm formulating a plan to take advantage of this unexpected turn of events!

And the brilliant idea is, your sneakiness?

Scratch

It's a work of genius!

Idiots! I haven't thought of it yet, you boot-lickers!

Ooh. But when you think of it...

Scratch

I know it'll be marvelous!

That's true... Ahah! I have just come up with a magnificent scheme! (points at his feet) Now you may lick my boots! (Scratch and Grounder stick out their tongues in disgust)

Scratch

Urrgh!

(disgusted) I hate this part!

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Scratch

Look how shiny my key is!

My key is shinier!

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Scratch

If I've told you once, I've told you 1,000 times...

TTails

(as a baby) Goo Goo Poo Poo.

Scratch

(confused) "Goo Goo Poo Poo"?

No, you never said that!

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Scratch

(as he, Grounder and Baby Sonic are fighting over the Decrepitizer) I've got one thing to say to you, kid!

BTBaby Tails

(laughs while squirting milk from his bottle on the floor) Goo goo poo poo!

Scratch

Goo... goo poo poo!

And that goes double for me!

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AHAHAHAHA! I really put one over on that rube! This sack of gold can finance a whole army of robots to trample Mobius into submission!

Scratch

You're my hero Dr Robotnik sir. You're rotten to the core, BAHAHAHA!

Thank you, and to show how much I appreciate you two numbskulls, I'm going to give you a tip.

Scratch

Wow, aha, great!

Oh, boy, a tip!

The tip is: "always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded".

Scratch

I'll, uh, try to remember that.

Yeah, me too, in case I ever get feet.

I bet this nugget alone is worth...[smells it]...hmmm? Strange. It smells like...chili beans. [eats it] It IS chili beans! STALE CHILI BEANS! Covered with gold paint!

That was a pretty tricky hillbilly.

Coconuts!

[enters room] You want me, your putridness? You want me?

I was bamboozled by Sonic, and it's all your fault!

What are you talking about?! I wasn't even there!

Shut up! I'm the boss, I can blame whoever I want to! I am demoting you down to mop-up duty!

But, but, but, but, but,...[moans]...where do I start?

By standing on that X!

[Coconuts walks onto a trapdoor with an "X" on it. Robotnik pulls a lever that opens the trapdoor and Coconuts falls in.]

Ha!

NOT AGAIN!

If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to get even with that scheme-stopping spine-headed hedgehog!

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(dressed as a cop) Let me speak to the driver.

I'm not driving. He is!

Scratch

No, I'm not!

Driving without a driver? Now you're really in for it.

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You still haven't gotten Sonic?

Um, no, your supreme cruelness, Sir!

What about all my evilly genius traps?

Scratch

Uh, [chuckles] The hedgehog seems to be enjoying them!

I arrange an all-expenses-paid adventure holiday for the hedgehog, and he has the unmitigated gall to have fun?! I hate that hedgehog!

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[Quark and Robotnik's ships have just fell to pieces after both unsuccessfully tried to capture Sonic and Tails]

You idiot! I would've captured that hedgehog if it wasn't for you! Whoever you are! [Quark pops out]

If it wasn't for you, you ridiculous fool, I would've gotten rid of that hedgehog!

Ridiculous?! What business is it of yours, anyway?

[pulls out crown and puts it on his head] Why, I plan to take over the entire planet of Mobius, and declare myself absolute ruler, of course!

Of course. Now, about this, uh, uh...[indistinct mumbling]...WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

[pulls out poster] And when I'm through with this miserable planet, I'm building it a shrine to me, Brandon Quark, M.D., Ph. D., C.E.G.!

Scratch

What does C.E.G. stand for?

Crazy Evil Genius, natch.

[Robotnik grabs the poster and tears it up.]

Robotnik Well, it just so happens that I'm taking over Mobius, and making it a shrine to me, Quack!

That's Quark, egg boy! [jumps out on Robotnik's belly] And I've never seen anything as preposterous as you!

Check a mirror, duck butt!

Okay! So I had a little lab accident with a duck! But it's all just water...

...Off a duck's back! [pushes Quark off] With my scientific genius, you haven't got a chance!

[looking at Scratch and Grounder] You call those wind-up toys scientific genius?! Get a load of this, egg boy!

[Quark presses a button that summons his robot, D.U.F.U.S.]

DUD.U.F.U.S.

You summoned me, Dr. Quark?

This is a D.U.F.U.S, Designed Unit Flexible Underling Substitute, the most powerful weapon on the planet! And now for a little demo, Robotnik!

DUD.U.F.U.S.

I am a prototype D.U.F.U.S., capable of 2,486 offensive modes!

[D.U.F.U.S. changes from several of his offensive modes to other modes and finally to a cannon as he speaks. His release of a big cork finds its way into Robotnik. Robotnik spits out the cork.]

This planet isn't big enough for the both of us!

Your belt isn't big enough for you! [He pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts Robotnik's belt, revealing his underwear. Robotnik, in embarrassment, pulls up his pants.]

Look who's quacking!

I'M NOT A DUCK! I'M NOT A DUCK! I'M NOT A DUCK! [pause] I propose a contest. Whichever of us captures Sonic the Hedgehog shall have sole dominion over Mobius!

You got it! There's nothing like a fair fight.

[camera fades out, then fades in with Robotnik and Quark talking to themselves]

QRQuark and Robotnik

[to themselves] And this will be nothing like a fair fight! Hahahahahahahahaha!

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Scratch

Okay, you better tell us what your plan is.