[to Davis] Oh, suck it up. My mother had to perform her own C - section with a broken whisky bottle.
All S1
S1Speed: Part 2
God, this is going on forever, and I have to get there in time. What's the longest it has ever taken for the baby to come out?
Well, I heard about this one woman in Himalayas who was in labor for a week.
Really?
Ok, you are at 9 centimeters.
[to Dr. Roland] Hey, when the European guys measure their penis, do they get to use centimeters? 'Cause that would sound a lot more impressive.
[to Davis] Hey, let's go easy on the penis talk down there.
[to Billie] The point is, you are not quite there yet.
[freaking out] This is not quite there?! I know this sounds hard to believe, but I think the baby has a knife!
I made friends with a transvestite prostitute.
Another one?! Big deal.
I slept with Olivia!
[stops in the middle of a scream] You what?!
[to Davis] That's good, yeah. More stuff like that. Tell her where.
[to Billie] Uh, okay. In your living room, kitchen floor. On your bed. Where your head goes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Accidentally on Purpose pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.