Accidentally on Purpose quotes

Billie

She also said you'd make a sarcastic remark.

Zack

Did she say I'd make an obscene gesture?

Ryan

Uh-uh. I don't think so, Mama. It's March Madness, and you've got the sports package.

Billie

I do not have the sports package. What is he talking about?

Zack

[alluding to Nicole] I bought it without asking you. Imagine that.

Abby

I'd love to get a new couch. But Nick can't part with ours. Our cat had kittens on it and then a couple years later, Nick's grandmother died on that couch.

Olivia

Why? Were you telling one of your fascinating stories?

Billie

Okay, couple of things. One, is that my teddy? Two, so that's what my teddy is supposed to look like. And three, you are so fired, we need a new word for fired, but since fired is what you are, lets just go with fired.

Can I still print you out as reference?

Billie

Are you crazy?

[points at Davis and smacks her lips] A little bit.

Olivia

It's 5 a.m. in Scotland. So she'll just be getting back from the pub, or she'll be just arriving at the pub. Either way, I'll call the pub.

Abby

She was wearing your fancy teddy? If you are going to seduce two men in someone else's apartment, you should bring your own lingerie. I mean, that's just good manners.

Billie

No. I am going to keep this baby inside of me where he is safe from my poor decision making. I've been working on my Kegels. I'll just seal that sucker up. This big already, I can go bigger. I'll keep him in there till he is 9. If I can go 9, I can go 18. And once he is 18, I'll plop him out and he can make his own decisions. It's so simple, I don't know why no one's ever thought of it.

Billie

I can't believe it. Next time I go to a movie premiere, I am going to be a mother. Take a left on Geary. Aw, next time I take a left on Geary, I am going to be a mother.