Shut it down, Liz!
All S1
S1Back to School
[in an emotionless tone] Yeah dude, you tell me every year when you get drunk on "Jewish Forgive Me" day. [flashback to last years Yom Kippur]
[crying] I slept with Melissa, man! She kept on coming and I was like "Oy, vey!" [Zack finishes his drink]
[in the present] Oh. Did you forgive me?
Not the first year. The first year, I beat the crap out of you.
That was you?! Man, I reported that as a hate crime.
Well, I think the most important thing that we take away from all of this is that forgiveness is divine. And Melissa is a skanky ho.
TTracy
Jabbari, that was really amazing. That hand is really flexible.
Yeah, those Swiss really know how to make a nice arm.
TTracy
Look, I really want to see you again, so here's my number [writes her number on a paper], and uh, here, so you don't lose it. [pins it on "Jabbari's Swiss arm" using a thumbtack. Ryan stops himself from screaming]
I am gonna call you, girl.
S1Face Off
She is our savior. You and I've been doing things all wrong. All wrong. Like that changing table.
What's wrong with the changing table? I built that changing table.
Nicole said its a death trap.
It's fine. My mom used to change me on a Hibachi grill.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Accidentally on Purpose pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.