Edina quotes from Absolutely Fabulous

Well, I suppose I'd better be off. I've got to get this lot (her knitting) down to the charity shop.

Edina

Oh, God. No one's that poor.

Or that shape!

[Cough] Mum!

Edina

Oh, don't be so stupid, smoke can't get in there, darling. Smoke can't touch the baby. If it could you'd have come out looking like prosciutto, believe me.

Patsy

Or Donatella, liver sausage in a wig

Mum, you are just paying into the whole panic culture, I hate it. The world is actually safer than it's ever been. In fact, you're more likely to be hit by a bus!

Edina

Oh yeah, darling, that'd be ironic, wouldn't it? Closest I've ever been to public transport and it runs over me.

Edina

Who bloody needs 'em? Upper classes, who bloody needs 'em, sweetheart? They're all inbred anyway, aren't they?

Patsy

Yea, just a talking neck! Most of them have done away with features altogether! They have to marry a bit of common every now and again to ensure bone development!

It feels really tight!!

Edina

Of course it's tight. It's all that olive oil you've rubbed into your perineum, darling, isn't it? You've marinated it! It's good for a barbecue, not for birth! That's what you've done, darling.

I haven't been using it! Not since Patsy put a chili in it!!

Edina

Darling, who was your favourite Stone?

Patsy

Oh darling, you didn't have a favourite Stone, you had 'em all!

Edina

Anyway, darling, if you could harm a baby by shaking it, you'd've been a goner! [Laughs] Patsy used to shake you about, didn't you?

Patsy

Yeah, when you'd swallowed pennies.

Edina

Yeah, always swallowing pennies, weren't you?

Patsy

Yeah, well we had to put them somewhere! You were like a little money box. Put one in, then shake it when we want it out again!

Edina

Right, darling, we'll go to the office and I can drop you at your interview.

Interview!? I thought she just slept with the publisher!

Edina

[Talking about Saffy and Paolo] They haven't done it, y'know. I don't think she's ever done it. I mean, she can't be that unattractive, is she? Is she?

Patsy

She is a virgin in a world where men will even turn to soft fruit for pleasure!

Edina

Do you remember your first time?

Patsy

Y'know it's all a blank with me until 1968.

Edina

Oh, yeah... God, I remember mine.

Patsy

What did you feel?

Edina

Well, just grateful, really, y'know.

Patsy

Why?

Edina

'Cause you were always on my back!

Patsy

You'd think I'd remember that!

Edina

I was taken up, up to Heaven and I spoke with God.

What about?

Edina

Well, shopping mainly...

Catriona

It is so lovely to have everything back to normal after that terrible thing last year.

Edina

Yes, yes... 7/11.

(angrily) What?!

Edina

Oh, you know darling... the 24/7...Oh, 7/11!

9/11!

Edina

9/11, I knew that!

Edina

And for lunch, sweetheart, for Christmas lunch, who comes to that?

Saffron

Well, there's me and John...

Patsy

Is he from Gabon?

Edina

What?

Patsy

Is he from Gabon?

Edina

Gabon?

Patsy

Yes, is he from Gabon?

Edina

Why are you saying that...

Patsy

Gabon.

Edina

Will you stop saying that!

Patsy

Will you ask her if he's from the Gabon.

Edina

[Irritated] Is he from Gabon?

Saffron

No!

Edina

No, he's not from Gabon, so shut up!

Edina

So what's the inspiration here?

Holocaust.

Don't you like it?

Edina

No, I love it, I love it, I think it's lovely, just thinking, perhaps something a little warmer…

Max, turn on the pebbles.

COZY ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Edina

So [Max] has to take [Bettina] back to Broadmoor… she was only out on day release anyway.

Patsy

What's she in for?

Edina

Stabbing Kelly Hoppin with a glass shard at the design awards.