A character in Absolutely Fabulous
Played by Jennifer Saunders
Absolutely Fabulous · 92 quotes
Most-quoted character in Absolutely Fabulous: in 60 of its 92 quotes
Most scenes with: Saffy (26), Patsy (23), Bubble (5)
EdinaSweetie, don't you need some help, or something?
No, please don't. You've only ever used this cooker to light your fags off of!
EdinaDarling, that is simply not... No, that is true.
[Saffy slaps Edina.]
EdinaDid you just hit me? That's illegal, isn't it?
[Discussing Patsy's job at the magazine]
EdinaAnyway Patsy's got that job for life.
You don't mean to say she's actually good at something?
EdinaNo, darling, she slept with the publisher!
And I'm bloody good at it!
So what does a fashion director actually do?
EdinaOh, darling, she gets a 50% discount at Harvey Nicks.
It's not only that, I mean there is work involved, y'know, skill.
EdinaYeah, course there is.
I decide what goes in the magazine. Y'know, one snap of my fingers and I can raise hemlines so high that the world is your gynaecologist!
Is this your daughter?
Edina[looks at Saffy and back to the Nurse] Yes.
Well, maybe there's a God after all.
EdinaI'm sorry, darling. It's just had some rather bad news today, that's all.
I need a drink!
EdinaIt's very bad news actually, Pats.
Oh what?
EdinaI'm dying!
You can't!
EdinaWell I am!
Well what am I supposed to do if you die?
EdinaGet cabs!
[Discussing guests for the funeral]
EdinaGod, I hope you're not inviting that bloody, bollocky, selfish, two-faced, chicken bastard, pig-dog-man, are you??
You could just say "Dad!" I'd still know what you meant!
[Eddy points to her bag of "Pop-specs".]
It's a sticker with a green tree on it.
EdinaYes.
What does that mean?
EdinaKind to trees, sweetie.
How are they kind to trees?
EdinaWell they ain't made of wood, how kind do you want!?
[Feels her stomach in discomfort]
EdinaHave you eaten something?
No, not since 1973.
[Running down the stairs with four cigarettes in her mouth] Light! Light! Light!
Edina[Provides a light] Pats, honestly...
Bloody hell!
EdinaNot another no smoking cab, Pats? They must see you coming these days.
Bloody bastard asthmatic cab driver!
EdinaCan I just say one word in my defence?
I don't think that's a good idea, mum, your mouth is working for the prosecution.
[Eddy is throwing out her clothes as fire damage for the insurance]
I could take these down to the charity shop.
EdinaSplutters. You cannot give these sort of clothes to the poor! Darling, I'm sure they've got enough to contend with without the added humiliation of wearing last season's, sweetie!
Ey, Eddy, Eddy, remember that weekend with Mick and the boys? Laughs Fantastic!
EdinaFabulous days, darling. [To Saffy] Patsy used to go out with Keith Moon, sweetie.
Yeah, sort of. I mean, I woke up underneath him in a hotel bedroom once.
EdinaYeah, still, that was going steady for the 60s, believe me.
It was my birthday today, Mum. [storms upstairs]
EdinaYou come back here, don't you think you can just say something like that, hit and run! Now listen, I gave you that birthday, darling. You wouldn't have that birthday if I hadn't been generous enough to uncross my legs and give you to the world, darling. Nobody's thanked me, have they?!
She told me you had a tattoo on your unspeakables!
EdinaI didn't!
Eddy?
EdinaI didn't. Unmentionables, I said.
That could be anywhere on her!
EdinaMy New Year's resolution, sweetie… to have more fun! What's yours, Pats?
Ohh, well, I think I'll just try to be more relaxed.
You? More relaxed? What is that, dead? Well, that cancels out my resolution.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Absolutely Fabulous pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
