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S1 E15

A Series of Unfortunate Events · Season 1, Episode 15

Larry Your-Waiter, Sunny and others in “Unfinished Business”

[At Café Salmonella]

LYLarry Your-Waiter

Hello, I'm Larry, your waiter. Welcome to Café Salmonella, the city's innest restaurant, and the only restaurant serving an all-salmon menu, including beverages and table linens! [begins handing out menus]

It's that same waiter. He's everywhere we go--

He's always trying to help us.

O"Gunther"/Olaf

[without fake accent] Larry... [resumes accent] I, ah...I think I'm feeling queasy, please, and I need to run back to pretty lady's apartment, where there is nothing hidden, by the way!

LYLarry Your-Waiter

[stops Olaf] Nonsense, sir! We've had the menu translated especially for our foreign guests.

O"Gunther"/Olaf

And what language did you have it translated into, please?

LYLarry Your-Waiter

The one you speak most fluently.

O"Gunther"/Olaf

Ah, well, well, well, I speak all of them hella fluently!

LYLarry Your-Waiter

[sits Olaf down as Olaf groans] Then there's nothing to worry about! [finishes handing out menus, then offers Jerome and Esmé two glasses of pinkish liquid] May I start you off with still or sparkling salmon-flavored water?

[incredulous] Salmon-flavored...? [laughs] You are making my mouth water and turn pink!

How do you make your water salmon-flavored?

LYLarry Your-Waiter

We put salmon in it.

I'll have regular water, thank you.

So would we.

Nonsense! Jerome, what if someone sees you drinking it? [to Violet and Klaus] Regular water isn't in!

But it's the primary ingredient in aqueous martinis...

LYLarry Your-Waiter

I think the young people might enjoy playing along with the theme of Café Salmonella [holds up a piece of paper with "V.F.D." written on it] and its Virulently Fishy Decor!

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