30 Rock quotes

268 total quotes

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Jack: Making through a full 24 hours without a single misstep is called Reaganing. The only other people who have ever done it, Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and--no judgment--Saddam Hussein.

Jack: Michael Kors is a friend --- we own a gay racehorse together --- and I convinced him to make wizard cloaks fashionable this winter.

Jack: New York gives us a tax break for employing sex offenders. It's a terrible program.
[when Jack arrives at Kaylee's school to confront her]

Jack: Pete and I are having a little college night.
Liz: Oh yeah you want to see me shotgun this?
[Liz begins shoving an entire pizza into her mouth]
Jack: Oh God! She means the pizza!
Pete: She's unhinging her jaw!

Jack: She's courting the youth vote. That means she's desperate.
Jonathan: My generation never votes. It interferes with talking about ourselves all the time.

Jack: They'll say "Jack Donaghy was the greatest oceanographer who ever lived. And we walruses owe Him everything for giving us the gift of language."

Jack: This isn't my first rodeo, Lemon.
Liz: Well, I've been to a rodeo too. It was a cat rodeo, in a gay guy's apartment.

Jack: When she's ready, Dr. Kevorkian says we have to put her down. He's a very good paediatrician but that is an unfortunate name.

Jack: You're Liz Lemon, damn it. In certain lights, you're an 8! Using East Coast, over-35 standards, excluding Miami.

Jack:You have more sexual hangups than an adult chat line run by Gilbert Gottfried?
Jack:That was written by a computer program we're working on to replace you.

Jenna: Although I'm great at this, I'm really not necessary. Hmmm, the last time I said that I was in a three-way with two Backstreet Boys.

Jenna: Am I trying to instigate fights by throwing wine at people just to get on camera, and maybe also promote my new lifestyle website, Jennas-Side.com? Of course not. I mean, is wine-throwing something that even gets you on a reality show?

Jenna: I'm gonna to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely, and build you up from scratch. Just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually.

Jenna: I've been taking these new Czechoslovakian organ slimming pills. They contain a little bit of meth, which is something my body needs anyway!

Jenna: Listen up, Fives. A Ten is speaking.