30 Rock quotes

268 total quotes

All Seasons  Season 1   Season 2   Season 3  
Season 4
  Season 5   Season 6  

Jack: What have children ever done for us?
Kenneth: Well, they make our shoes and wallets.

Jenna: Drama is like gay-man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.

Jenna: Future husband? Who did you put in your address book as "Future Husband"?
Liz: I have absolutely no idea.
Jenna: Well, whenever I find something weird in my cell phone, I can usually trace it back to last time I was drunk.
Liz: Oh my God, the dentist's office!
Jenna: Your dentist gets drunk with you, too?

Jenna: He's evil, Tracy!
Tracy: He's evil Tracy? Oh, "He's evil" [comma], "Tracy."

Jenna: It's going to be a disaster! Like Katrina! Do you remember Katrina, that crazy girl from hair and make-up?

Jenna: Jerem! Look how drunk I am and how full of cheese my mouth is!
Jerem: That's not that much cheese.

Jerem: I'm Jerem! I collect posters!

Jonathan: Sir, a Mr. Adouche is on the phone? I. M. Adouche.
Jack: I am a douche? [winces] Banks!! [picks up phone] What do you want?
Devon: Did you say it?
Jack: No, I knew right away.

Kenneth: Badger, it's another Badger, the third Badger has taken the bait.
Liz Lemon: Why is everyone codenamed Badger?
Kenneth: I thought you said you wanted to do it this way.
Liz Lemon: No, I said I didn't care.

Kenneth: Mr. Baker wants to do everything for himself. I feel about as useless as a mom's college degree.

Liz Lemon: Word of advice: If the will says you have to spend the night in a haunted house you better hope that everyone else there is black guys and sluts.

Liz: Do I look okay?
Cerie: That's exactly how you look.

Liz: I did Big Sister in college. That little girl taught me how to use tampons.

Liz: If I die, my ghost is gonna haunt you!
Frank: Then your ghost is going to see some disgusting stuff.

Liz: Just embrace the fact that you are lucky enough to be a happily married man. I mean, I'm actually jealous of you. You've got stability, a great marriage, devoted kids. You know what I have? A Sims family that keeps getting murdered.