30 Rock quotes

268 total quotes

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Jack: What are you doing in Harlem?
C.C.: Oh I'm working out of the Clinton offices for a few weeks. I'm helping Hillary retool her universal healthcare platform.
Jack: God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.

James Carville: Cajun style.

Jenna: A drinking contest?!? What am I, 12 and at my boyfriend's frat party?!

Jerry Seinfeld: Still talking?
Liz: Oh. No, no no no. I haven't talked to him since... Whew... I dunno... August 9th, four seventeen PM...
Jerry Seinfeld: Mhmm. It's not over.
Liz: Oh no. It's over! I'm over it.
Jerry Seinfeld: No. It's not over until you pick up the phone. You say "I don't love you anymore," they say "I don't love you anymore either." You go "great, I'll pick you up in twenty. Let's grab a scone."
Liz: A scone! Yes! I want that! I'm gonna call him!

Kenneth: [about coffee] I love how it makes me feel. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!

Kenneth: Alcohol? This smells like Hill-people milk. I've been drinking this since I was a baby!"

Kenneth: I like your top. I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.
Angie: Uh-huh. Well, I don't have a husband any more, so... you can come over anytime.
Kenneth: Oh, I will! I'll come over at night.

Kenneth: Oh no Sir, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name.
Jack: That's Republican. We count those.

Liz: Hello, I'm sorry, may I speak to Floyd, please?... Oh, he's in the shower... I am conducting a survey for the Ranford Group, and, uh, how old are you? ...And your weight? ...And when was the last time you had intercourse? ...Who is this? Who is you? I is your worst nightmare, is who I is.

Liz: Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing both thumbs at herself] This moi.

Liz: I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
Jaime: I'm 20.
Liz: Oh, boy. This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau.
Jaime: Are those friends of yours, or ...?

Liz: I'm telling you, this is my year. I feel like the show's going to be great and I'm very positive that I'm going to meet someone else.
Jack: Women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married.

Liz: No, we don't have a crazy..thing
Dennis: Yeah we do! We're like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay...


Tracy: Lutz made us do it.
Lutz: No, it was Frank.
Kenneth: THAT'S IT! This is all my fault, Miss Lemon. Because I let it happen. And the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Tracy: Please ask my permission before you quote me, Kenneth!
Liz: I don't know how, but you're gonna get me another sandwich. Or I'm gonna cut your face up so bad, you'll have a chin. YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS!