Matthew, I have baked a cake in honour of the most important day in a young man's life!
Hey, happy birthday, Matt! I didn't know it was your birthday!
Oh, no, no, today isn't Matthew's birthday. Today is the anniversary of the day a mother most looks forward to!...
Mother, not in front of my friends!...
Today, is the anniversary, of the day Matthew was potty-trained!
(Matthew puts his head down in embarrassment while the other kids laugh)
Four years ago today! And to celebrate, I baked a cake in the shape of a potty, with little bits of... well, made out of chocolate.
D'oh, why use chocolate? What's wrong with the real, natural ingredients?
(cut back to the living room, where Matthew and his friends are now throwing up into the potty-shaped cake)
(angry) Now you see what you've done? Now they have ruined the cake!
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