Isn't this terrible? Print baseless accusations like this!
Baksheesh, palm-greasing! Good God, we're British!
Still, it's not like the FT to print a story like this unless there's something behind it. Is there something behind it, Humphrey?
I think the sports news is behind it.
I want to know the truth, Humphrey.
I don't think you do, Minister.
Will you answer a direct question?
I strongly advise you not to ask a direct question.
It might provoke a direct answer.
Bernard, what do YOU know about this? Tell me on your word of honour.
Oh, well, I... er... Er, that is... there was. Someone did.
It’s a lot of gossip, that's all. Rumour, hearsay.
Well one of the Kumranis did tell me he'd received...
Yes, Bernard heard him say it.
Are you telling me Humphrey that the BES contract was won by bribery?
Oh Minister, I do wish you wouldn't use words like bribery.
What would you like me to say? Slush funds, sweeteners, brown envelopes?
Oh Minister these are extremely crude and unworthy expressions for what is no more than creative negotiation. It is the general practice.
You do realise what you're saying don’t you, Humphrey? I ratified that contract, didn’t I? In good faith!
And in that communiqué I issued to the press, I announced a British success won in a fair fight!
Mm, yes, I did wonder about that bit.
Now you're telling me it was got by bribery.
Oh, it was not got by bribery?
I said I'm not telling you it was got by bribery.
Well how would you describe these payments?
How does the contract describe them you mean? Oh, well, that's really quite simple. Retainers, personal donations, special discounts. Miscellaneous outgoings, agents' fees, political contributions, management expenses.
And how are these payments made?
Well anything from a numbered account in a Swiss bank, to a fistful of used oncers slipped under the door of the gents.
