[Randy Orton has helped JBL defeat The Undertaker in a No Disqualification match]
Undertaker! Undertaker! Undertaker, you've just been RKO'd. You better get used to it, because the legend killer is officially on SmackDown!.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Last week, I made this SmackDown! championship match a six-man elimination match! Well, with The Big Show being drafted to Raw, you lose one and you gain one, playa. So the sixth man for this match will be the latest draft lottery pick. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, Christian! [Christian's music hits]
Christian?!
Christian? No!
Captain Charisma?
[Christian comes out] Yeah there he is! Oh wait a minute! Christian!
Got a shot at the SmackDown! championship here tonight on his first night on SmackDown!.
[JBL has defeated Booker T, Chris Benoit, Christian, Muhammad Hassan, and The Undertaker in a six-man elimination match, seemingly winning the SmackDown! Championship]
JBL, I've got some good news, and I've got some bad news for you, playa.
What?
Now, the bad news is, even though you won the match, you are not the SmackDown! champion.
What?!
What the hell?
You know something playa? Recently, I found out that there's no need for a SmackDown! championship. Now the good news is, that you have earned the right to be the new number one contender to this man. Now ladies and gentlemen, everybody get ready to show your love for the final draft lottery pick and World Champion, Batista! [Batista's music hits]
What the hell?!!
Oh, my!
Is this a joke? What the hell's going on here?
No, it's not a joke! He's the, the, the latest draft lottery pick!
Where is he? I'll believe it when I see it [Batista comes out] and oh my God, I believe it! Holy...I don't, this is great!
SmackDown! has hit the jackpot!
Holy cow!
The World Heavyweight Champion has come to SmackDown!. Oh my God!
Pinch me! I can't believe it! Batista, the World Heavyweight Champion, on SmackDown!.
This is the man who, who four nights ago, beat Triple H in Hell in a Cell! This is the man, who three times, beat Triple H! This is the man who won the title at WrestleMania, and Batista is on SmackDown!.
Shocking! Shocking! Amazing historic moment for SmackDown!.
And I don't believe anybody is as shocked as JBL, who moments ago, was elated at winning the SmackDown! title, only to find out that he's the number one contender for that championship, the World Heavyweight title. Oh my! Batista has come to SmackDown!. Good night everybody, from a historic night in Anaheim!
TWThomas Whitney (Muhammad Hassan's attorney)
My name is Thomas Whitney, Esq., and I am the legal counsel for Mr. Muhammad Hassan. Mr. Hassan has authorized me to read this statement on his behalf. Mr. Hassan has endured so much emotional distress as a result of the vitriolic hatred he has encountered over the last week. As a result, he has chosen to take a leave of absence from SmackDown!. I'd like to remind you that Mr. Hassan is as American as each and every one of you. He has the same rights and privileges under the First Amendment, including freedom of expression. And it is a sad day in America, in which someone like my client has found me to retain an attorney to protect his fundamental rights to freedom of speech, and freedom from discrimination. Like all other Americans, you should not be prejudiced against Mr. Hassan or his manager, Khosrow Daivari. Therefore, my client will never again appear here on SmackDown!, until such time as he defeats The Undertaker at a pay-per-view, ironically enough, called The Great American Bash. And furthermore, my client will no longer be appearing on -- [The Undertaker's music hits and The Undertaker makes his entrance]
It appears as though Thomas Whitney, esquire, Muhammad Hassan's attorney is about to personally meet The Undertaker.
This could be an interesting rebuttal, Cole. Well, law school ain't prepared for this.
I, I don't think Hassan's attorney has, has any idea what to think about all this. [Undertaker enters the ring] In ten days at The Great American Bash, that man, The Undertaker will meet Muhammad Hassan for the opportunity to meet the World Heavyweight Champion. A number one contender's match at the Bash.
Think that attorney's got cottonmouth? [Undertaker approaches and corners Whitney]
WWhitney
Sir. Sir, I do not know your intentions. But sir, need I remind you, that I am not a wrestler, sir. I am an attorney. [Undertaker grabs Whitney by the throat]
Come on, Taker wait. No don't do this!
He's an attorney! [Undertaker chokeslams Whitney] Oh man! Undertaker just chokeslammed Muhammad Hassan's attorney.
I, this guy's not a wrestler. I don't, [Undertaker signals for the Tombstone] Someone's gotta stop this man.
Who's gonna stop him, Tazz? This is ridiculous. Undertaker may very well -- [Undertaker prepares to deliver a Tombstone Piledriver to Whitney]
Oh god, oh no no!
Not the Tombstone Piledriver!
No Taker no! No no! [Undertaker tombstones Whitney]
Oh my! I dare say Tazz, that the, The Undertaker's crossed the line here.
I don't think he gives a rat's you-know-what about crossing the line. I'll tell you Cole, I don't know how much money Muhammad Hassan pays his attorney, but it's definitely not enough.
WrestleMania 21. It was supposed to be my night. My time. I was supposed to beat the biggest, baddest legend ever. I was going to beat The Undertaker. But fate intervened, fate decided to intervene, and that didn't happen. Well guess what? Fate repaid the favor, and I'm standing before you on SmackDown!, able to get what I want. Able to get what I deserve! Able to get what I need. I need to beat The Undertaker. Now The Undertaker's been with the WWE for fifteen years. Fifteen long years, and he's achieved legendary status. The Undertaker is a legend! Oh, but guess what? I'm the Legend Killer. All the victims of The Undertaker, they were great. They were great men, but all the victims, all the men that I've defeated in this ring, all those men have been legends. At WrestleMania 21, The Undertaker took away any chance at my immortality. So I've decided to take away everything possibly that I could take away from The Undertaker, and that started last week on SmackDown!, when I took away his chance at becoming World Champion. I DESPISE THE UNDERTAKER! I spit in the face of The Undertaker's legacy! My legacy, my legacy was flourished by every legend that I dropped with the RKO. My legacy will live long, long after I'm gone. It carried through last year's SummerSlam, when I became the youngest World Heavyweight Champion of all time. And at this year's SummerSlam, simply this, I'm going to get what I need. Undertaker, it's time for me to catch what I let slip through my fingers. I will not rest until I beat you. I will not rest until you're on the long list of legends that I've defeated. I will not rest, Undertaker, so what's it gonna be? You and me, SummerSlam, I know you can hear me, do you understand? But I know you're around. I know you're around. What's it gonna be? I want an answer! I want an answer, Taker. Right now damn it, I demand an answer! You and me at SummerSlam! What you say? Come on! I know you can hear me! Where you at?! Come on! [The Undertaker's gong sounds]
Oh my!
Be careful what you ask for! Careful, be careful what you ask for, Cole! [The words "RKO" appear on the Titantron]
Randy Orton. You want a legacy? SummerSlam. You will rest...in...peace.
If I know anything about Eddie Guerrero, I know that he would hate to see me in this ring crying like a little baby. Well, Eddie I'm sorry, I just can't help it. I just...I just can't believe you're gone. [starts crying] I've been thinking all day, you know, I really don't know what to say. I don't even know if I'm the right man to be out here to be speaking about Eddie, but...I want you to know two things about Eddie. The first thing is he loved his family. He loved his family. Now Eddie had a lot of demons, he had a lot of troubles in his past. And Eddie fought his way back from Hell to win back his family. And I respect the hell out of him for doing that. The second thing, you guys already know this, but I wanna make it clear. The second thing is Eddie Guerrero loved this business. He loved this business, he ate, he breathed, he slept, he bled this business! And no matter how much pain he was in, when he stepped through that curtain, all the pain, it just went away. And he found peace in this ring. [crowd chants "Eddie"] My one comfort, my one saving grace is that I know that Eddie's found peace. I know Eddie's with God. But call me a selfish son of a (bleep), call me anything you want, 'cause I'd give anything to have Eddie back right here. I miss the hell out of him. Eddie Guerrero, I miss you, and I love you. And I will make sure that these people, everywhere around the world, remember you.
Eddie was very, very spiritual. Um, a great, great dad. Um, every time I saw him around his kids, he was just...so full of life and so...just full of joy 'cause he was so proud of his family. Eddie was so thankful to God for all of it. Um, my only comfort in losing a friend...is knowing that he's with God now. And all the pain, and all the things that he endured, he's with God now, he's safe. He's loved. I know this is not right, but I can't believe Eddie's gone. I love you bro. And there'll be another one like you. You were awesome.
I didn't come out here to brag about what I did to The Undertaker. I don't need to. I'm, I'm not an arrogant man. What I did to Undertaker speaks for itself. [points to the SmackDown! titantron that was destroyed and is covered with tape] Any of you here coming to this arena thinking that there's just a small chance you might see Undertaker rise from the ashes, WELL GUESS WHAT, AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! It's over, he's done! His legacy is dead. I killed him. I KILLED THE UNDERTAKER! [crowd boos] The only true phenom now in the WWE...is me. And I deserve something for what I've accomplished. I deserve the World Heavyweight Championship. You think I don't? Do you disagree with me?! [crowd cheers] You disagree with me?! Well guess what, the one man that three years in a row was the sole survivor at the Survivor Series match, you're looking at him! The youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history! You're looking at him! A third-generation superstar! Guess what, you're looking at him! [crowd boos] The man that killed the phenom, The Undertaker. You're looking at him. You people disagree? Well your opinions mean nothing to me, whatsoever. [crowd chants "asshole"] Batista! [crowd cheers] I'm calling you out. I want a World Heavyweight Championship match. And I don't want one at Armageddon. I demand one at Armageddon!
Wow.
And I will become the World Heavyweight Champion. It's not arrogance, people. It's destiny.
DDaivari
Well, I told you what was gonna happen out here. We'll be screwed up. But Kurt, I should have said, you were the one that was gonna get screwed. I am now the manager of the World's Strongest Man, and next World Heavyweight Champion, Mark Henry.
What?
What the hell is going on here? Daivari's Henry's manager?
Oh my God.
I never saw this coming. Angle got...I...I...did he get double-crossed here? Is Daivari now manager of Mark Henry?
I'd love to know what the hell happened, but the bottom line is Daivari is managing Mark Henry.
Daivari knows Kurt Angle so well, Cole.
Well, nine days away from the Rumble, the #1 contender Mark Henry ended up himself as a serious threat but now with Daivari added to the mix, Kurt Angle's reign may be in trouble. As Daivari said, this is screwed up.
[clears throat] Please, please. Now, I'm not the kind of guy to come out here and say, "I told you so." But I told you so. I'm gonna compete for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania. Rey Mysterio is not. All of Rey's hopes, dreams, fantasies of having a storybook victory over me were shattered. It didn't matter who was cheering for him and it didn't matter who he dedicated his match to. I had destiny on my side. SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I had destiny on my side, a destiny, my destiny, that will be fulfilled at WrestleMania when I become the World Heavyweight Champion. Now, Kurt Angle, you're lucky, man, because that's what it took, luck, to beat the Undertaker at No Way Out and all the luck in the world couldn't help you at WrestleMania when you step in the ring with me! And when I become world champion, I will take my rightful place at the top of this business. A business that my family built. You see, my grandfather was the greatest wrestler of his generation. My father was the greatest wrestler of his generation. And when I become World Champion, I will prove to everybody that I am the greatest wrestler of my generation. Not Kurt Angle, not the Undertaker, not Rey Mysterio, not the late, great Eddie Guerrero, no, no, no! I am without peers. Nobody is better than Randy Orton. Nobody is better than me. You people can chant what you want. You people can say whatever.. [Chavo Guerrero attacks Randy Orton]
JLJohn "Bradshaw" Layfield
Comesta, amigos? You got it all wrong, folks. I came out here to applaud Rey Mysterio, our World Champion. You see he's a typical, tough Mexican fighter, who has, whoa what you call it? Machismo. Last week, he promised he would take on all comers. And indeed he did. He took on the world's strongest... [crowd chants "619"]
The "619" chants in honor of Mysterio.
JJBL
I'm surprised you know the numbers in English. [crowd boos] Last week, Rey Mysterio kept his word, and took on the world's strongest man, Mark Henry. [chuckles] And lost. [laughs] I guess Mark hadn't heard of machismo. Well this week, YOU, YOU WANNA THANK ME! If it hadn't been for me, Rey Mysterio would've been squashed like a cockroach underneath Mark Henry! This week, we'll see if he keeps his word again, and takes on all comers, or if Rey Mysterio is el polio, a chicken. We'll see if Rey Mysterio takes his little inner tube and goes back to Mexico. But we all know our little underdog champion has more heart than brains. So tonight, [crowd chants "619"] I am wearing the American flag, something you people on strike should start observing! Now shut your mouth and show me some respect! [crowd boos] Tonight your little hometown hero, San Diego's own, Rey Mysterio, [crowd cheers] cheer for him now, because tonight, he has The Great Khali. But it doesn't end there Rey. Because Judgment Day, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock is coming. Remember, Rey, I am the one who took the WWE Championship. I am the one who defeated Eddie Guerrero! [crowd boos, then chants "Eddie"] Oh, Eddie was great. I was just better. I am the one who also [raises his WWE United States Championship] took this championship from Chris Benoit! And May 21, at Judgment Day, when I defeat the third amigo, when I complete the trifecta, I will be the only man in SmackDown! history to hold the United States Championship and the World Championship. I will be undeniably a champion's champion. A true AMERICAN hero. One more legacy in my hall of fame career and you Rey, you Rey, will be here hanging out on a street corner with your homies. Your people. Your people who are sitting here. Your people who look like you. You people who are the size of you Rey. Your people who speak like you. Your people who thank God they're here, because it's your people who do the dirty work for real Americans like me. But don't worry Rey. I'm not gonna leave you high and dry. In fact, I'm gonna offer you a job, you and your family. Your kids, sweet little Dominic can shine my boots. Your wife Rey, can work in my kitchen, maybe in some little short Latino dress. With high heels. Stelleto. I like this. But in case you wanna be gangfully employed Rey, how about you do what the rest of your people do? How about you sell drugs on street corners? How about you do drive-bys? How about you do prostitution? How about you work at a donkey show in Tijuana? You people make me sick! Rey, you and your people is what's ruining my country! Rey, at Judgment Day, I will, I will... [Rey Mysterio charges the ring and attacks JBL]
And there's Rey Mysterio! The World Champion has heard enough! Rey Mysterio attacking JBL!
Can't blame Rey Mysterio! Those co - those comments by JBL, he'll be ashamed of himself, but look at Rey going to pound on him!
JBL trying to roll out of the way, Rey Mysterio continues the assault. JBL humiliating, embarrassing Mysterio, in front of his family, in front of his friends here tonight!
I can't believe Bradshaw, JBL, the comments, Mysterio beating the daylights out of... [JBL flees]
JBL running away, running away from the champion!
John "Bradshaw" Layfield [standing on the announcers' desk, waving to Rey Mysterio who is in the ring]: Como está, my amigo? Sunday, Domingo, is Judgment Day, Rey. Your judgment day, when I take that championship off your undeserving body! But I got a question for you, Rey. [to Howard Finkel] Give him your microphone! Give him your microphone! [Finkel obliges and walks out of the ring. JBL addressing Rey again] You look like roadkill, vato! The last two weeks has been rough on you, Rey, ya look terrible! You don't even know which way is up, do ya? Rey! Let me ask you a question: do you even know where we are? [interrupting Rey before he could reply] Son! Son! I'll help ya: we're in Albuquerque, north Mexico. Do you even know, Rey? Look at - you got dain bramage, ese! Do you even know what year it is, Rey? [interrupting Rey before he could speak again] Rey, I'll help ya, I'll help ya...2006. Do you even know what day it is?
Rey Mysterio [walking towards JBL]: May 19th!
JBL [feigning shock, then grinning]: You said it...I didn't!
[JBL laughs hysterically as suddenly a fireball goes off and then Kane arrives. Rey looks shocked]
Oh...oh, my God!
What the hell-?
You gotta be-
What, no!
It's Kane! It's Kane! It's Kane!
No! No!
JBL, you sick bastard!
What are you - what is going on?!
You gotta be kiddin' me! What the hell is wrong with you?!
No!
Kane! Oh my God, this is gonna be a massacre! [Kane enters the ring and immediately attacks Rey; the bell rings to start the match] Kane, beating the hell out of Mysterio!
You gotta be kid - I, I'm...I'm shocked!
JBL, what the hell is wrong with you?? What the hell is wrong with you?!?
JJBL
You shouldn't upset Kane, you know what Kane hates when you say that! He shouldn't upset the Big Red Machine! This is Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger all rolled into one, except for the fact he's a living, breathing human being, and he is a walking, talking stud!
JLJohn "Bradshaw" Layfield
We just witnessed the greatest travesty of all time at Judgment Day! [crowd chants "you suck"] Rey Mysterio is still the World Champion. [crowd cheers] But I challenged him to take on all comers. I appealed to his machismo. Well Rey, oh Rey! If you're still a man of your word, and you'll still take on all comers, then I'm gonna prove it was a fluke on Sunday! Come out here right now with your World Championship and let's do it right here! [Rey Mysterio's theme hits]
Oh ho ho! The World Champion, as he proved Sunday, is a man of his word! [Rey Mysterio comes out] A standing ovation for the man who's still living his dream, successfully defending the World Championship Sunday at Judgment Day.
I don't know how Mysterio did it on Sunday but he did it. He left Phoenix with the World Championship.
RMRey Mysterio
JBL, you're right. I did say I would take on all comers. And I took you on at Judgment Day. And I beat you!
JJBL
You sarcastic little punk, that was a fluke! Now get out here, let's do it right now!
MMysterio
Hold on. JBL, you are the United States Champion. I don't, I don't see you defending your title. I don't see you taking on all comers.
JJBL
You little punk. You have the audacity to question me? THIS IS MY SHOW! I carry this company! And yes, I will take on all comers, because nobody but a true American hero represents this country better. I am proud to be your United States Champion.
MMysterio
Did, did you, did you just say you are willing to take on all, all comers?
JJBL
I kicked you too hard in the head Rey. Is your mask covering your ears? Under the blood that you bled at Judgment Day covering up your ears? You want it in English? The answer is yes, I take on anybody!
MMysterio
English, Spanish, I understood you. [speaks Spanish] So, since you are willing, let me introduce to you your opponent. Bobby Lashley!
[Chavo Guerrero's music hits and he appears. The crowd boos]
I can't wait to hear this. Nothing this man can say will convince me what he did to Rey Mysterio in the past two weeks was right.
JLJohn "Bradshaw" Layfield
Where's your objectivity? Let's listen to what he has to say.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Chavo Guerrero.
JJBL
And why are you surprised? Why does Kasparov play chess? Why does Clemens pitch? It's in his DNA. It is in Chavo's DNA to be a Guerrero. I've known three generations of Guerreros; you cannot trust a Guerrero. Lie, cheat and steal, remember, Michael?
Oh yeah, I remember. That's their motto, the Guerrero motto.
JJBL
Don't look down on it, Mr. High-and-Mighty.
Eddie Guerrero made that phrase famous.
JJBL
And this is his nephew.
CGChavo Guerrero
People want to know why I screwed Rey Mysterio, why I betrayed Rey Mysterio. But first, I want to know: what is betrayal? Is betrayal stealing from another man? Is betrayal stealing his name from him? Stealing his blood? Because that's what Rey Mysterio did to me, did to my whole family, the Guerrero family. What? You don't believe me? You don't believe that Rey Mysterio is a thief? Let me tell you what he stole from me. I grew up with Eddie Guerrero. We were like brothers. We used to lie, cheat, and steal together. When Eddie passed away, we all felt it. We all felt it, we were all devastated. I retired from wrestling, I walked away from wrestling. But did Rey Mysterio? Noooo. He used the Guerrero name, Eddie's name. It seemed like every other match, Rey was dedicating the match to Eddie's memory. The Royal Rumble, No Way Out, even at WrestleMania. Every five minutes, he was mentioning Eddie's name, very, very convenient. And when Rey won the World Heavyweight Championship, it got even worse. Rey, you couldn't stand on your own, Rey, you couldn't keep the title on your own. What did you do? You used another Guerrero — me. Rey, I saved you from losing the title to JBL. I saved you from losing the title to Mark Henry. I saved you over and over and over again. But you decided to stand right here in the middle of this ring and take all the glory, and use Eddie's spotlight and Eddie's name that all of you chanted to him. At The Great American Bash, I couldn't take it anymore. And that's when I realized that Rey Mysterio, you didn't just steal Eddie from me, you didn't just steal Eddie from the Guerrero family, you stole the memory of Eddie from each and every one of these people out here, from you [points to one person in the audience], from you [points to another person in the audience]. People ask me why I did what I did. Because Rey Mysterio, you're nothing but a leech, living off the blood of the Guerrero name.
[Rey Mysterio appears and charges towards the ring]
Oh my!
JJBL
Oh my!
And look at this!
JJBL
No!
Michael [as Rey and Chavo begin fighting]: It's Rey Mysterio! Rey has heard enough! Chavo, Rey unloading on Chavo Guerrero!
JJBL
Chavo was right! Chavo was right with everything he said!
I thought it was a pathetic excuse, as Mysterio and Chavo continue to beat the hell out of each other inside the ring! [Rey and Chavo fall to the outside and keep fighting] And now it spills outside the ring; these two former best friends are beating the living hell out of each other!
JJBL
He shouldn't have desecrated Eddie's name; that's what Rey Mysterio-
Rey never did that!
JJBL
You know damn well he did!
[before a commercial break]
Hoo-rah! Hoo-rah! It's the Miz's debut, next on SmackDown!. The Miz!
JJBL
I'd rather have a root canal than sit here and watch Miz, the wrestling gods must hate me.
[after the break, as The Miz arrives for his WWE in-ring debut]
We are back on SmackDown!. It's the debut of the Miz!
JJBL
Jerry Brisco is rolling over in his grave and Jerry's not even dead!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's WWE SmackDown! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.