WWE Raw · Season 1
What the hell was all that?
I gotta be honest with you. I mean, I feel like I'm getting a little old for this. I don't know who writes this garbage, but this is the worst debacle since that whole Katie Vick years ago.
You got a good point. But the thing is, I don't think anybody writes this crap—they're on strike. [The crowd cheers] But we're not!
2007 could be summarized to three letters. R, K, O. I went from the Legend Killer to becoming a one man dynasty. And in 2008, I'm going to be more ruthless and dominant than ever. I will start this new year as the WWE Champion, and I will walk out of 2008 still the WWE Champion. [crowd boos, then Jeff Hardy's music hits and Jeff Hardy comes out]
Well ladies and gentlemen, the number one contender for the WWE title, the very man that will meet Randy Orton for the WWE title at the Royal Rumble, Jeff Hardy has apparently heard enough of what Mr. Orton has to say here tonight.
Well I don't think this is a good idea for Jeff Hardy to come out here and ruin the moment for Randy Orton. Let's face it, Randy Orton is the WWE Champion, he is the greatest Raw superstar of 2007. He deserves a certain amount of respect.
You can talk about your year all you want man. But right here, right now, it means nothing. Dude, it's about what you've done lately. It's about the one thing you don't have. And that's momentum. As a matter of fact, let's check a little something you left out of your video. [footage from the December 17 Raw is shown]
Well Jeff Hardy's had a pretty good 2007 as well. Two weeks ago, Jeff Hardy, as we'll see here, after the Twist of Fate, the Swanton Bomb on the WWE Champion, for a 1, 2, 3 for a victory. That's momentum.
All that proves, Jeff Hardy, is that you got lucky. A lucky win in a tag match!
No, no Randy, you what that proves? That proves I can beat you! That proves that if anyone's got momentum leading into the Royal Rumble with our match, it's not Randy Orton. It is Jeff Hardy!
You wanna talk about momentum? Ask Chris Jericho about momentum. Ask Shawn Michaels. Ask John Cena what I've done lately. [crowd chants "you suck"] Nobody has ever beaten me for the WWE Championship title, and you will never beat me, Jeff Hardy. But you're talking about momentum. Let me show you how momentum can take a quick turn. So why don't you pay attention. [Orton and Hardy stare down for several seconds, then Orton tries to RKO Hardy, but Hardy reverses]
Oh! Orton looking for the RKO, [Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on Orton]
Hey! Twist of Fate!
But it's now the Twist of Fate delivered from the Intercontinental Champion, the number one contender for the WWE title, and indeed there is huge momentum.
Oh my gosh! Orton outsmarted at his own game. I thought Orton was about to show some sort of video or something, and instead he went for the RKO that was blocked, and turned into the Twist of Fate!
There certainly can be an argument made that Jeff Hardy indeed does have Randy Orton's number.
The magic number for Randy Orton may be 2008 when he becomes the next WWE Champion.
And the question is, will Ric Flair make it until 2008? Last month, WWE Chairman Mr. McMahon made a, he dropped a huge bomb on the incomparable Ric Flair.
On this New Year's Eve on this city that I own, my hometown, New York City, they're waiting for a ball to come down out of the sky. The rest of the world, yourself included, those in New York are knowing that this day will be known for one thing, and one thing only. Mark it, write it down, etch this day in stone. This is the day that JBL returns! This is the day JBL comes to Raw. It is so momentous, you can smell it because you people know, you know far and wide, everyone knows I don't have to be here. I am a millionaire many times over. I am here for one simple reason. I love power. I love domination. I like, I love owning people. I love taking people like you, squashing them under my thumb, because I can. Money comes to money. I am your worst nightmare, because if I can't buy it, I will take it! So mark my words, [Chris Jericho's music hits]
What is this now? [Chris Jericho comes out] This was a piece of history, JR! Jericho doesn't need to spoil this! [Jericho charges at JBL] Look out!
And Chris Jericho is not doing any talking! [Jericho and JBL brawl]
WOOOO! Last night, I wrestled my very last match at WrestleMania. I will never, ever, wrestle in this ring again. [The crowd boos this] Please... please... I... I... I'm not sad about not wrestling. You shouldn't be sad about the fact that you're not gonna see me out here. You should rejoice in the fact that I HAVE HAD THE GREATEST WRESTLING CAREER IN THE HISTORY OF PRO WRESTLING! [The crowd erupts at this] And last night, even though I lost, I lost to a great, great, great wrestler and a better man! [The crowd boos at mention of Shawn Michaels] It's true... Rejoice in the fact that I have wrestled in front of more fans, raised more hell, had more fun, and loved all of you every day of my life! I swear to God! I've been teared up all day long with the thought of not being able to come out here anymore, but I'm off! I'm off, and I'm in a good place, and I love you! [As he speaks, "Thank you, Ric" chants start within the crowd] Please... Let me say to you, I wanna thank you for the memories, thank you for the support, and most of all, thank you all for making me who I am today. WOOOO! WOOOO! WOOOO! [begins to leave, until he is cut off by the music and arrival of Triple H]
Ric, if you think these people here in Orlando are the only ones that want to say thank you, if you think that the millions of people watching on TV are the only ones that want to say thank you... well then, my friend, you've got another thing coming. [embraces Flair] Because I just... I had to come out here and I had to tell you something from the bottom of my heart... I love you, man. [shakes Flair's hand] And thank you. Thank you. [bows down to Flair and then embraces him again] Now, that takes care of me, but there are a few other people that wanted to say thank you too, and... there's one group of guys I started talking to earlier today, and it's the craziest thing, 'cause ever since I talked to them, my hand's been cramping up like this... [Makes a familiar sign; Flair smiles, knowing what this means. The sound of horses' hooves and whinnying only serve to confirm the obvious, as out come:] TULLY BLANCHARD! J.J. DILLON! ARN ANDERSON! BARRY WINDHAM! THE FOUR HORSEMEN!
[As the aforementioned Horsemen enter the ring and embrace Flair] This will be the first time the Horsemen have been together since 1988. All four of them in the ring. [No further commentary is uttered.]
[As he introduces each of the next seven individuals, that individual enters the ring to pay his respects to Flair] The Animal... and the Evolution, Ric, of Batista... Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat... The seven-time World Champion, Harley Race... Greg "The Hammer" Valentine... Another Horseman, Dean Malenko... Y2J, Chris Jericho... John Cena! [After Cena has paid his respects, "Leave The Memories Alone" by Fuel plays as:] Ric, here comes your family. Ric's wife Tiffany, Megan, David, Reid, and Ashley! [By this time, Flair is completely in tears as his wife and children enter the ring and embrace the Nature Boy. After the crowd reacts, they fall silent as Shawn Michaels, still clearly upset over retiring Flair the previous night, enters the ring. The two make up and embrace] Ric... First of all, I've gotta say: those are sweet watches. [pointing out the gold watches both Flair and Michaels are wearing] Those match; those are cool. Anyway... [laughs and taps the microphone] Is this still on? OK, that is... anyway, we could keep this going on all night because there's just so many people. But I'll tell you what: Anybody left that wants to come out here and say thank you to Ric Flair, come on out! ["...To Be Loved" by Papa Roach, then the Raw theme, plays as the locker room empties, line up on the ramp and chant "Thank you, Ric" with the audience]
[Chris Jericho has invited The "Heartbreak Kid", Shawn Michaels, onto his 'Highlight Reel' show. The fans have started an "HBK" chant]
HBK, I wanna thank you for coming onto the Highlight Reel tonight. It's obvious from your body language that it's not easy; you look like you're still feeling the effects from the beating you took at One Night Stand in the stretcher match. But those effects would be felt by anybody; you put on such a gutsy performance, Shawn, I mean, you showed so much heart, so much courage, you should be proud of yourself, and, I-I was - I was proud of you too, as a matter of fact, even though you lost that match, all of our fans around the world and even here tonight, they still love you! [the crowd cheers]
I, uh...I appreciate all the kind words, but, um...you got a question in any of this?
Yes, I do have a question, I'm gonna get to that, but first I wanna make a little observation. I mean, like we just heard, obviously our fans, they love you no matter what it is you do. [to the cheering fans] No matter what, right? Case in point, you feigned a knee injury for almost a month, you blatantly lied about it to me, you lied to Batista-
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now...that might be splitting hairs here, but I was very clear about the fact that I was gonna do whatever it took to win...and I did that. I didn't lie to Batista, I didn't lie to the people. Technically, the only person I lied to was...you.
All right, fair enough, I'll...I'll take that. Touché. Regardless of all that, when you finally admitted the truth and super-kicked me right in the face, you got cheered more than ever. I mean, it's... [off the cheers] see? I mean, I'm adored by the fans as well, but not even I could get away with that one. And when I pointed out your fabrication of the truth, suddenly I got booed. I mean...[the crowd boos] see? You pull a fast one on 'em and they adore you, and yet whenever I try to do the right thing, whether it be tell the truth or not hit you with a chair, not hit JBL with a chair, I got booed! You know, uh...it seems like our fans, even the ones here, would rather boo an honest man and cheer for you, I mean, it doesn't take much to get them to start chanting, "HBK". You know, it's..."HBK, HBK"! [the crowd chants "HBK" again] So that brings us to my question, and my question is this: how does Shawn Michaels, HBK, one of the greatest performers of all time and one of the most highly-decorated superstars in the history of this business, turn into such a lying, cheating, pathetic little worm of a human being? [the crowd boos again as suddenly Jericho attacks Michaels]
Oh! And Jericho, assaulting Michaels!
Jerry "The King" Lawler [as Michaels tackles Jericho and fights back]: Whoa!
And the fireworks! Michaels and Jericho, overt physicality here on Monday Night Raw!
[Jericho then kicks Michaels in the groin]
Oh! Uh-oh!
The obvious low blow, stopping Michaels dead in his tracks!
[Michaels tries to get up but Jericho shoves him back down to the canvas]
You wanna lie to me? This is just what you're gonna see, buddy. This is all... [as Michaels writhes] this is all your fault. This is what you wanna do? You started all this, and now you're gonna start it again. [stands Michaels up] The worst is yet to come.
[throws Michaels face-first into his Jeri-tron 5000 monitor, shattering it]
Oh, my God!
[Michaels groans in pain on the canvas as Jericho stares at him among the crowd's boos before leaving]
Leave it to HBK to once again attempt to rewrite history. Last week, HBK, in an effort to in his words, permanently disfigure me, and take my championship away, convinced Mike Adamle to make our match at No Mercy a World Heavyweight Championship ladder match. And then in another one of his typical multiple hypocritical lying statements that your hero HBK likes to make, Shawn claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match. And like the brainless sycophants that you are, the mindless sheep that you are, you all mindly believed what he said. Here's a news flash for ya. Just 'cause Shawn Michaels says something doesn't mean that it's true. And conversely, when Chris Jericho tells you something, you know that it's real because I am an honest man. I am a good man. And I always tell the truth. And here's some truth for you right now. I have won three separate championships in a ladder match. I have won more ho, high-profile ladder matches than Shawn Michaels has ever appeared in in his entire life. And here's some more truth for ya. At No Mercy, when the match is through, the very last thing you will all see is this. [Jericho unhooks the World Heavyweight Championship from above the ring] Chris Jericho, still the World Heavyweight Champion.
Ladies and gentlemen, the former World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho! [Chris Jericho angrily looks at Lilian]
What happened last night at Cyber Sunday was the biggest screwjob in WWE history. Mike Adamle wanted Batista to be the champion, so he did everything in his power to make it happen, and all of you were happy to oblige him! You voted in Stone Cold Steve Austin, you couldn't picked an un, more biased referee in the entire planet! Austin changed the rules in the middle of this match. He put his hands on me repeatedly, he tried to bully me, he tried to intimidate me, and worst of all, he didn't count to three when I had the match won, and now as a result, Batista is the new World Heavyweight Champion. [crowd cheers, then chants "you suck"] If I was Batista, I would be embarrassed to call myself a champion. I would be ashamed to call myself a champion. Because Batista did not beat Chris Jericho. No, no. It took an entire army to beat me, from Batista to Michaels to Steve Austin to Mike Adamle to every single one of you hypocrites here tonight. You were all involved in this conspiracy against me. And now Mike Adamle wants to make a tag team match for the main event tonight. That's fine, I am DYING to get my hands on Shawn Michaels and Batista again tonight. But I'll tell you something else. That's not good enough. I need more. I need more. And I have a championship rematch clause and I will use it next week. Next week, I will beat Batista and regain what's mine and once again be the World Heavyweight Champion, and there is nothing that any one of you can do about this. [Mike Adamle's music hits]
Oh man! Jericho is a bitter, sour former champion! [Mike Adamle comes out]
Our general manager, Mike Adamle.
Oh Adamle looks happy.
Chris, I need you to hang on a second. I just want to tell you a little something right now. In order to ensure that there's no outside interference in that championship match against Batista, I have decided to make it a steel cage match.
My name is Randy Orton. And I would like to introduce my lawyers and therapist, and the other members of Legacy, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. Now the reason why I am out here is to discuss the events that happened last week on Raw. Now as all of you know, I am a third-generation superstar. The WWE is in my blood, it is a part of me. But, unfortunately, something else is a part of me. Something that I have been living with for quite some time. It's called IED. Intermittent explosive disorder. [the therapist hands him a note] IED affects 16 million Americans. It is a mental condition, where the individual, when sufficiently provoked, suffers a loss of control, resulting in outbursts of physical violence. After being slapped by Stephanie McMahon, and having my job threatened by Mr. McMahon, I had become sufficiently provoked. [returns the note to the therapist] Now you all saw my face after it was all over. I was not responsible for my actions. My therapist, my therapist can confirm that the WWE knew of my condition, but did nothing about it, which is why if Stephanie McMahon chooses to fire me tonight, I will sue her and World Wrestling Entertainment. But that is just the first lawsuit. There happenes to be a second. Last night, I won the 2009 Royal Rumble. Proving that I am more superior than everyone in this company. Which is why I will sue for breach of contract if I do not get what I am legally entitled to, and that is to compete in the main event at WrestleMania. So how does that sound, Stephanie? If you choose to fire me tonight, not only will you be faced with two separate lawsuits, but you're gonna lose Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes. Because they have both vowed to me that they will walk, they will walk if I am fired tonight and let's face it. Let's face it Stephanie. With the three of us gone, when it comes to superstars on the Raw roster, well, there'll, there'll virtually be none left. Now, that that has been said, I have one more piece of business to attend to. [a lawyer hands him a note] I do apologize for the trauma that befell Mr. McMahon last week. I apologize for the trauma that his family is now suffering. As a father of a newborn, I now recognize and appreciate the anguish the McMahon family must be experiencing. My hope is we can put this ugly incident behind us and move forward. [crowd chants "you suck"] Again, I am a man of honor. I offer my sincerest apologies to Mr. McMahon, to his family, and to all of you. Thank you.
At the age of 24, I became the youngest world champion in the history of the WWE. It was the greatest moment in my life, but it was short-lived. Because the next night on Raw, the man who was my mentor, the man that claimed to be my friend, turned on me in a fit of jealous rage. [footage from the August 16, 2004 episode of Raw is shown where Triple H betrays Orton, kicking him out of Evolution] That night, everything started to fall into place. Triple H ruined my life, so I made a vow to myself, to ruin his. But I had to wait. I had to wait until I found the talent to start a group of my own. I had to wait until Triple H was more powerful than he had ever been before, and I had to wait until Triple H found something that he cared about, more than the WWE title. And so it began, this past January, when I eliminated Triple H and went on to win the 2009 Royal Rumble. [footage from the Royal Rumble is shown] I earned the right to face Triple H and take his title at the 25th anniversary of WrestleMania, but, but that wasn't enough. I had to raise the stakes. I had to take everything away from Triple H that he cared about, and systematically destroy him. So I chose his family. The most powerful family in the WWE, the McMahons. Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and his sweet wife, Stephanie. [a montage is shown of Orton attacking the McMahon family] Almost five years after Triple H turned on me, I RKO'd his wife. Now let me, let me make one thing perfectly clear. I knew exactly what I was doing the entire time. IED, no no no no no. I knew exactly what I was doing the entire time. If you don't sit down and shut your mouths and listen to every word I have to say for the rest of this, I'm gonna get real pissed off. When I get pissed off, you don't wanna, you don't wanna be too close to me! [crowd boos] I knew that Triple H would retaliate. And he did, he went to my home and he attacked me. He took a sledgehammer to Rhodes and DiBiase, but that was a sacrifice that I was willing to take, because I needed Triple H to feel confident. I needed Triple H to feel as if he was in control, because if he felt this way, then he would let his guard down, and if he did that, then it would allow me to do this. [footage is shown from the previous week's Raw where Orton attacked Stephanie McMahon while Triple H was handcuffed to the rope] Now at WrestleMania, every time Triple H and I lock up, every time he goes to throws a punch, he's gonna be looking at the man that DDT'd his wife and sealed it with a kiss. And if he even thinks of coming to the ring at WrestleMania with a sledgehammer to get his vengeance, then he's wrong. Because I talked to Vickie Guerrero. And if Triple H is disqualified, if he's even counted out, then he loses the WWE title. If he shows up to the ring with a sledgehammer, then it's an automatic disqual - disqualification, and I become champion without lifting my finger. And so it comes full circle, Triple H it comes full circle. I have taken everything from you. Everything, except the WWE title. That comes this Sunday. When it happens, the entire landscape of the WWE changes. The balance of power shifts permanently. Top superstars will climb the ladder to one day try and challenge me. Young superstars will try their best to impress me so that they may one day stand at my side.
[outside the WWE Superstars Locker Room] When I first came to World Wrestling Entertainment, not a single person respected me. Not anyone out in the WWE universe, and not anyone in the WWE locker room. Everybody wanted to get rid of me. Nobody could stand me! They made my life a living hell. As a matter of fact, in this very locker room I got kicked out for eating a piece of chicken over a referee’s bag and spilling some crumbs.
[Walks away] For 6 months, 6 months, I was banned from the WWE locker room. I would have to find a place to change, a place to shower, a place to use the restroom. I walked down these halls and see superstars like JBL. And everyday that JBL saw me, he would sarcastically say, "Miz, I look forward to your amazing work! Miz, you are a gift from God, Miz!"
Everybody berated me. Everybody ridiculed me. Everybody wanted me to quit. But all that negativity, I used as fuel to ignite a wrath against everyone in the WWE to become the star I am today. Now I don't even go in that locker room because I have a private dressing room just for me. That locker room is for the Evan Bournes and the MVPs. [He is now on the arena floor] The same MVP that is the #1 contender for the United States Championship. So congratulations, MVP. You have earned the right to join a long list of people to get publicly humiliated by me.
MVP doesn't even deserve to be in the same ring as me. [He is now in the ring] If it was up to me, MVP would still be in jail. I don't believe in second chances, because I have been perfect my entire life. Yet you mistakes all still boo me and cheer him. Well, go ahead, boo me, cheer MVP, I don't care. I'd rather you all hate me for everything I am, than love me for something I'm not! I am the reason you people watch Monday Night Raw, not MVP! I am the most captivating and entertaining superstar on this brand, not MVP!
MVP comes out here with his glitz and glam, his pyro, his ballin'. He's got Breitling diamond watches, designer suits. That's great MVP, because let's face facts, MVP. You could put diamonds on a dog, but it's still a mutt. All you mistakes will respect me, everybody in that locker room will respect their United States Champion! Because I'm The Miz...and I'm...AWESOME!
[one night after Shawn Michaels cost the Undertaker the World Heavyweight Championship at Elimination Chamber]
I am not going to take up a lot of your time tonight, because my explanation for my actions last night really isn't all that complicated. I did what I had to do, I did what I needed to do. Now I understand that what I've done isn't really all that popular with many of you but, that is something that I am willing to live with. And I've heard the, the rumors about the Undertaker possibly being here tonight and I also understand that for every action, there must be a reaction. With regard to the Undertaker, I'm not just hoping for a reaction. I'm counting on it. Because there is absolutely no one that can possib -- [The Undertaker's music hits]
Ask and you shall receive. You all wondered if the Undertaker would be here. Now we know. [The Undertaker comes out]
Cut the tension with a knife.
You wanted my attention? Now you have it.
Last year, people said we had the greatest match in WrestleMania history. Some people even said it was the greatest match ever. As flattering as that is, you have to understand, I wrestled a perfect match. I, I nearly wrestled a perfect match. I made one mistake, ONE MISTAKE, and it cost me everything. You better, than anybody should know that's something I cannot live with. I asked you, I, I begged you for a rematch, but you refused. You ignored me. You didn't leave me any choice, and that's why I cost you the World Heavyweight Championship. I know you're angry at me. I know as you stand there, you can't wait to get your hands on me. And that's okay. You want your revenge. Face me at WrestleMania, Undertaker, and get your revenge.
You're on. I accept. [Shawn prepares to leave the ring] ...on one condition. This year, you have to put up something as well. Your soul...this year won't be enough. If you defeat me, you end the streak. But, if I beat you, your career is over. That's it, Shawn. The streak versus your career.
You don't get it. If I can't beat you at WrestleMania, I have no career. You're on.
Well tonight folks, we have a first. Tonight, as my guest on the Cutting Edge, we have the Anonymous Raw GM. [the Anonymous Raw General Manager's laptop is in the ring] Now despite our acrimonious relationship, I actually do appreciate the GM agreeing to appear as a guest on my show. And I understand that this computer has been electronically transmitting this voice, so that's what it will continue to do, so as to keep this person's identity a secret. Now, with that being said, I think it's time to ask the first question. I, I need to ask you exactly, Raw GM, why are you such a spineless coward?
Why are you such a moron? I remain anonymous to protect my identity. If people knew who I really was, it would change everything.
Okay first of all, that's the worst voice ever. Se, [stammers] second of all, I thought, I thought you were Stone Cold Steve Austin, or or or, I thought you were The Rock, or maybe Shawn Michaels. Or Bob Barker. [stammers] Judging by your decision making, you're Lindsay Lohan after another bender. The only thing I know is, is that whoever you are, you are a big fat liar.
Seriously, Edge. You hurt my feelings. Why do you have to hate, yo? I try to make peace with you, but you clearly don't want that. You want a confrontation. Why? Why do you despise me so?
Why do you despise me?! Why do you keep interfering in my business? Why - why am I arguing with a computer? We've gone from Stone Cold stunning Mr. McMahon on Raw to Edge arguing with a computer. You know what? That's it. I'm just gonna go ask Chris Jericho exactly who you are.
Jericho is bluffing. He knows nothing. However, I know a lot of things. Like your opponent...right now. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Hahaha? I, I don't have an opponent tonight! You know what, I, I talk to people. I'm sick of talking to an overgrown Speak 'n' Spell. I'm outta here.
But wait. You do have an opponent tonight, Edge. I have scheduled a match right now between you and this man. [John Cena's music hits]
You thought Randy Orton and Wade Barrett was the story; you thought John Cena being fired was the story; and then The Miz, Mr. Money in the Bank, comes out, cashes in, and he tells the world that he is the true story. He is the WWE Champion.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Era of Awesomeness has begun on Monday Night Raw!
July 17, 2011 will be the most historic day, not only in the career of CM Punk, it's gonna be a historic day for the WWE as a whole. Not only is July 17 the second annual Money in the Bank ladder match pay-per-view, it's the night I defeat John Cena for the WWE Championship. And now, here's that honesty I was talking about, that honesty that's probably gotten me in trouble more times than I like to admit. The brutal honesty I'm known for. July 17 is the day my contract with World Wrestling Entertainment comes to an end. That means when the clock strikes midnight, the 17 becomes the 18, Sunday bleeds into Monday, I'm leaving. And trust me when I tell you. I am leaving with the WWE Championship.
John Cena, while you lay there hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I do like you; I like you a hell lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best...because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am, and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good at kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as Dwayne though—he's a pretty good ass-kisser, always was and still is. [Turns to camera and waves] Whoops, I'm breaking the fourth wall.
I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company, and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar, and he split just like I'm splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.
I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that—they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I've proved to everybody in the world that I'm the best on this microphone, in that ring, even at commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collector cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show! I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be; and trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that Dwayne is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!
[Turns to the fans] Oh, hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else, because you're the ones that are sipping out of those collector cups right now; you're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of, and then at 5:00 in the morning at the airport, you try and shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you're too lazy to go get a real job!
I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17, and hell, who knows? Maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I'll go back to Ring of Honor. [Waves to camera] Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing? The reason I'm leaving is you people because after I'm gone, you're still gonna pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel's gonna keep turning and I understand that. But Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? It's 'cause he surrounds himself with glad-handing, nonsensical douchebag yes-men like John Laurinaitis who's gonna tell him everything that he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon's dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family! Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. All right. We're doing this whole bullying campaign...[The mic cuts off]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's WWE Raw pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
