[Tobey and WordGirl are still in the city playing Crash or Pie]
Well, after a strong rally by Tobey--
And a healthy dose of cheating!
--we're tied at 6! Time for... the lightning round! You each take a turn giving me a synonym for the lightning word! The first person to give a wrong word loses! We start with WordGirl. Are you ready?
TobeyBring it!
Okay, here we go! The lightning word is... enormous!
Tobey
Large.
Tobey
Huge!
Tobey
Massive!
Tobey
[struggling to come up with another word] Uh... giant!
Tobey
[still struggling] Uh... Uhh... Unsmall!
Tobey
Unsmall.
Tobey
Is too!
Tobey
Is too!
Tobey
IS TOO!
Whoa, stop! When there's an argument, it's up to the judge to decide who's right.
Tobey
[gruffly] Fine.
The fate of the city hangs in the balance! What will the brilliant and handsome judge decide?
Tobey
Oh, brother...
Will he side with WordGirl, and save the city? Or will he side with Tobey, and watch it be destroyed? Stay tuned and find out! [pause] Um... what was the argument about again?
Well, the original word was enormous, and Tobey's answer was unsmall!
Oh, that's not a word. WordGirl wins!
Ha! Well, Tobey, looks like it's time to shut down your [does air quotes] "unsmall" friends!
Tobey
Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot to tell you something... [holds his remote in front of him and presses the button]
Tobey
...I'm a very sore loser! [WordGirl flies up and prepares to battle the robots, but they all abruptly shut down and she returns to the podium] What did you do?!
[a whistle is heard nearby, both Tobey and WordGirl look over and see Huggy holding the remote control that he got from the babysitter, one that shuts down the robots]
Tobey
Give me that! [jumps Huggy, and they get into a tug of war over the remote. He finally gets it from him] A-HA! [he prepares to start up the robots again, when a car pulls up. His mother steps out and walks toward him.] Oh, my. [clears throat] Uh, hi Mom! Uh, you look great! Did you have a nice trip? [notices her looking at all the robots lying around] What? Oh--these! These aren’t mine. I--I was just out for a walk… minding my own busi--- [his babysitter, who had come along with Mrs. McCallister, dangles the hologram machine in front of him.] ---ness… uh, OK… these are mine, but I wasn’t going to-- uh-- oh, forget it. [his mother grabs him by the ear and drags him away] Ow, ow, ow!
[Tobey is still grounded in his room sitting in his rocking chair, looking through a scrapbook with images of WordGirl.]
Tobey
Oh, you think you’re SO perfect, don’t you? Always trying to show me up with excellent grasp of vocabulary and your dark, glossy locks! Well, your cleverness and beauty won’t be enough to stop me this time, WordGirl! This time.
[A knock on the door]
[offscreen] You’d better have your coat on, young man! We are leaving for the department store in five minutes!
Tobey
Ready when you are mother! [closes the book on his thumb and cries out, then starts sucking on it]
[WordGirl returns carrying the hand of the robot.]
Tobey
Plagued by malfunction! Okay, fine, well you won’t solve my next riddle so easily!
Are you gonna use the doll one now?
Tobey
No! Maybe. Yes. But it won’t matter! You’ll taste the bitter taste of def-- [The changing room door flies open, and Claire McCallister stands there towering over Tobey.] Feat. And I, for one, will be writing to the management. This, uh, mannequin arm has been lying here just waiting for someone to trip over. Uh, ready to go? Good! Because this shopping trip is taking a lot longer than you promised! Or-- I suppose, if you had just a few more things you wanted to try on-- a few more… [Claire grabs Tobey by the ear and drags him off.] Ow, ow-ow-ow-OW!
[Mrs. McCallister is standing in line, still reading her magazine.]
[offscreen] Excuse me. Mrs. McCallister? [Mrs. McCallister looks at Tobey, standing on a severed robot hand] Do I even need to say anything?
[Mrs. McCallister grabs Tobey by the ear and leads him off. Tobey drops the book.]
Tobey
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Op, sorry, pardon me. On a quest for cheese here.
Tobey
You’re Dr. Two-Brains.
Tobey
I- I’m a big fan of your work. I read your article about “Escaping the Scene” in last month’s Modern Villain Monthly. Good stuff!
Oh, pish-posh. So, what’s your schtick?
Tobey
Uh, giant robots?
Tobey
Homemade.
Nice! Wait a second, you wouldn’t happen to be Tobey the boy genius robot-- builder-- kid, would you?
Tobey
More or less.
Well, this is a pleasure! [shakes his hand forcefully] I’ve been following your career! Not too shabby, kid.
Tobey
So, tell me, what brilliant and evil inventions have you been working on lately?
Oh, you know, this and that, gravity machine, time travel, brie blintzes… oh, and I recently tried turning platinum into cheese, but all I got was a strong, super-thin metal with a bitter steel aftertaste. [eats another piece of cheese]
Tobey
Hmm… you know, I’ve been trying forever to develop a material just like that!
Tobey
Well, I am a robot man, of course. And with your new metal, I would be able to build my most indestructible robot yet! Uh, any chance, Doctor, that you would be interested in a collaboration?
Tobey? Can I call you Tobey? Why not? I’ve got a few days to kill. [shakes hands with Tobey]
Tobey
Excellent!
[Dr. Two-Brains and Tobey are still bickering below them.]
Tobey
Oh please, I did ninety percent of the work! So much for an equal collaboration!
You’re right, child, it wasn’t equal, because I did all of-- [a security person walks past them, holding Bootsy. Two-Brains freaks out, tossing the remote which Tobey catches.] AHHHH! A CAT!
Tobey
Oh, are we afraid of a little cat? A little bitty kitty cat?! [he programs Mousezilla to flex his tail, pick up Bootsy and carry the cat back to him. Tobey sets the remote down on the tail, and holds Bootsy up in front of Two-Brains, taunting him.] Kitty, kitty, kitty!
Keep away, keep away! [Huggy jumps onto the back of Mousezilla and slides down the tail, He grabs the remote, unnoticed] Oh yeah, well at least I don’t love WordGirl, like you do!
Tobey
Well, you’re afraid of a little kitty, kitty kitty! Meow, meow, meow!
Tobey
[singing] Dr. Two-Brains, he sees the kitty and he goes "eek"--
[Huggy looks at the remote, and presses a button which releases WordGirl from the whiskers.]
Great job, Huggy! Let’s see if this mouse can swim! HYAH! [She picks it up by the whisker and heaves it far out into the ocean. Down on the ground, Tobey is still tormenting Two-Brains, oblivious as to what has happened.]
Tobey
[singing] Meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow MEOW!
[singing to the tune of "Here comes the bride"] Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love--
[WordGirl whisks them both into the back of police paddy wagon]
Tobey
That’s it-- our collaboration is OVER!
Tobey
Uh-- where are we?
And why are we in handcuffs?
[The barred doors closes to the back of the paddy wagon, and it starts to drive away. WordGirl is holding Bootsy.]
TBDr. Two-Brains and Tobey
Whoops.
JJudge
First, I want to thank all the contestants for their wonderful inventions. There are no losers here, only kids who didn’t win. Now the winner of this year’s Young Inventor’s Challenge and Friendly Competition is-- the apple corer and egg slicer in one! [He presents the trophy to Violet]
Tobey
[shocked] What?
THANK YOOUUU! THAANK YOOOOUUUU!
JJudge
[trying to calm her down] Thank you, Violet… very good, very good...
Tobey
Hold on, stop! [clears throat and tries to gather himself] Heh-heh, there-- there must be some mistake. Did you guys forget about my robot?
JJudge
No. Don’t get us wrong, your robot is pretty amazing. But the apple corer and egg slicer in one? Whoa-oh-oh! It’s so practical!
Tobey
[getting more irate by the second] Eh--er--- this is ridiculous! There is no way that thing is better than my robot!
JJudge
Oh, sure it is! Okay, let’s say you got two bags-- one is full of apples, and one is full of eggs…
Tobey
FORGET THE APPLES AND EGGS!
JJudge
I’m sorry, Tobey… I just don’t think we can.
[Violet holds up a sliced apple for the judge. WordGirl and Huggy arrive.]
Tobey
That-- is--- IT! I’ve tried to be good...
Tobey
...but I REFUSE to lose this contest to that-- that hunk of metal masquerading as a kitchen utensil! Robot--
Tobey
--DESTROY!
And, there it is. [flies off with Huggy]
[Everyone screams flees from the stage except for Violet, who walks off slowly by herself. One of the robot’s feet lands beside her.]
Oh, is it time to go already?
Well then, I say, let’s get this party started! But first, I’d like to announce the grand prize. The student who earns the most points at the end of the day will win-- THIS! Authentic, super-deluxe teacher-only magic markers! Woo! [She pulls a package of magic markers from inside the trophy, and holds them up. Becky's eyes light up.]
[sighs] Only the teachers get those! Think of all the beautiful words I could write!
Tobey
That’s the prize? You expect me to slave away in the direct sunlight to win some magical ink pens? [raises his hand] Mrs. Ripley? I- I’m afraid I’m unable to participate in your day of silly games. [He starts to walk away, but she jumps in front of him.]
Unable to participate? What’s the matter?
Tobey
Uh… side ache. Yes, oh, my side. It aches.
Ohhh, I’m so sorry! Go to the nurse’s office immediately!
What’s the matter, Tobey? Afraid you won’t win?
Tobey
What? O- Of course I can win if I wanted to, I just don’t want to.
SScoops
It’s okay if you don’t win, you know. I’m just looking forward to having a good time with my friends.
Yeah, don’t be afraid. Just playing the games is fun.
I’m in it for the markers.
Tobey
Well, thank you all for sharing! Now before I go, let me assure you I am stronger, faster, and just generally better than all of you. I have the agility of a cougar and the strength of a lion, goodbye. [As he walks off, he trips on something and hits the ground. The kids laugh, causing him to get angry.] Fine. I’ll take part in the competition, but mark my words, I’m going to win those markers, not because I want them, but to show you that I, Tobey, am a winner! Ha-ha-ha-ha! And-- I’ll be right back.
And now, it is with great pleasure that I present to Tobey McCallister the grand prize!
Tobey
[standing beside Ms. Ripley and the other kids clap] I just want to say to all of the people who doubted me… I WIN! Because I’m better than all of you! At winning! Ha-ha! Fools! Fools!
[she and Huggy show up] Not so fast there, Tobey!
Tobey
Why, WordGirl! What a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?
I just happened to be flying by the neighborhood, searching for crime to fight… yeah.
Tobey
Hmm. Too bad you weren’t here a few minutes ago. You missed my spectacular performance. See? [holds up the markers] I won the grand prize!
Tell me, Tobey, was your victory today authentic, or did you cheat during the competition? [She grabs the markers from him]
Tobey
Why, that’s absurd! Of course I didn’t cheat.
Then how do you explain your sudden athletic ability?
Tobey
Vitamins.
[Huggy grabs the remote from his pants pocket, and presses a button.]
What if I said you used a robot-- a robot that looks just like you?
RTRobo-Tobey
[walks over to them and everyone gasps] Prepare to lose.
Prepare to lose is right, Tobey! Since Tobey cheated, these magic markers belong to whoever finished second in the competition.
Tobey
[tackles Huggy, and takes the remote back from him] I’ve been embarrassed once today, WordGirl, and it’s not going to happen again! [He presses a button on the remote, and Robo-Tobey launches itself at her. The markers go flying. Then Robo-Tobey lassos her with a rope.]
Young man! Your performance in today’s competition was not authentic! You cheated! Which means you are disqualified! Therefore, the winner of field day is-- Becky Botsford!
I’ll be sure Becky gets her grand prize markers. In fact, I’ll deliver them to her personally!
[to Tobey] And as for you…
Tobey
Yes?
I think we’ll be telling your mother about your behavior today!
Tobey
No-- please-- I’ll do whatever you want! 50 push-ups! 100 squat-thrusts! Just don’t tell mother!
DMr. Dudley
Okay, kids. Will the contest finalists line up in the front of the class-- the front is up here-- in front of me? Okay, uh, don’t touch anything on Mr. Dudley’s desk. Settle down. Everyone’s costume looks so good-- not as good as my costume, but alas, there can only be one winner. And the winner is-- [does a pretend drum roll with his fingers]
Tobey
[to himself] Me, me, let it be me!
DMr. Dudley
Violet, as WordGirl!
[Mr. Dudley bring over a ribbon and pins it on her outfit.]
DMr. Dudley
Here you go. Uh-- I’m gonna need that back later on…
Tobey
Wh-- di-- Mr. Dudley, she cheated! Everyone knows she’s really WordGirl, she had that outfit in her closet!
DMr. Dudley
Tobey? Do we need to call your mother?
Tobey
No-- that’s quite alright. I’ll manage. [to himself] ...manage to ruin Halloween for everyone, that is! He-heh-heh-heh-ha-ha-ha! [he stops laughing as he realizes that everyone is staring at him.]
[Tobey and his mother pull up in their vehicle.]
This is going to be an important trip for you, Tobey, because you’re going to learn to appreciate nature. And hopefully grow out of this silly robot phase.
Tobey
Yes, Mother. That would make sense, except that nature is a thing of the past! Technology and robots are--
TOBEY! No robots! I don’t want a repeat of what happened last summer at basketball camp!
[#1 flashback scene from basketball camp. Johnson is trying to play defense against one of Tobey’s robots, but it leaps over him and dunks the basket. Tobey exclaims, “I win again!”]
Or two summers ago at baseball camp!
[#2 flashback scene from baseball camp, showing Johnson pitching to one of Tobey’s robots, which uses a telephone pole as a bat and sends the ball flying. Tobey exclaims, “I win again.” and Johnson says, “Aw, that was our last ball!”]
Or last, last, LAST summer at drama camp!
[#3 flashback scene from drama camp as Johnson dressed as Macbeth and holding a skull, exclaiming, “To be or not to be, that is the question.” The robot responds, “My data indicates the answer is ‘to be’.” Tobey exclaims, “I win again!” Johnson shouts, “That doesn’t even make sense in this situation!”]
I mean it, Tobey! No giant robots, end of story! You need to be more independent, and learn to do things on your own!
[Tobey is now standing outside the car talking to her.]
Tobey
Okay Mother, I promise. No giant robots!
[She drives off. Once she is gone, Tobey ponders to himself.]
Tobey
I didn’t say anything about SMALL robots that turn INTO giant robots! Heh-heh-heh-heh!
[He retrieves a small robot from his pocket and sets it on the ground. He presses a button on a remote, and the robot grows to giant size.]
Tobey, what are you-- What are you wearing?
Tobey
Oh, this outfit? It's cruise-wear. Pretty spiffy, huh?
Heh. Uh, well, it's--it's something. Is that your robot?
Tobey
Chronos! You were going to be my first mate!
Your robot almost destroyed the whole city!
[pops up] That's it! You're grounded for a week!
Tobey
A week?!
You know, for someone who calls himself "The World's Most Formidable Boy Genius," your plans seem to go away a lot.
Tobey
Fine. I admit, the robot didn't quite work as expected. I programmed him to stop time, but there must have been some glitch. All I wanted was to prolong summer. You know, forever?
Tobey
Yes. If you don't know what prolong means I would happily define it for--
Prolong means to increase or extend. So if you tried to prolong summer vacation it means you wanted it to last longer, and I can't blame you for that.
Tobey
You can't? You mean, you understand what I'm feeling?
Tobey
Since we're getting along so well, perhaps you'd like to come by for a little game of shuffleboard.
Wow, that sounds like a great time, but we've really got a lot to do. See you! [she and Huggy leave]
Tobey
Call me! [Claire grabs Tobey by the ear and storms off with him]
That was amazing, Bampy! You defeated a robot with just a screwdriver!
BBampy
Well, ha! That wasn't invincible after all, was it? Kind of exciting.
What did you miss? Bampy defeated a giant robot, Becky! and all this time, you thought his story was fictional, huh? Now, do you believe me?
BBampy
TJ, here's your present back? [Bampy hands TJ his screwdriver back]
Awesome! A robot-defeating screwdriver!
[Huggy drags Tobey and lets go of him as Mrs. McCallister pops up]
Tobey
Well, let's just get over with. [his mom grabs his ear] Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ooh, next time, WordGirl and sprightly old man-- Oh, ow! Don't! Ow!
We're glad you're okay, Bampy. Fighting giant robots can be dangerous.
DMs. Davis
Tobey, have you finally learned your lesson about robots?
Tobey
I sure did, Ms. Davis. Next time, make sure robot mom get less peeved when insulted.
[offscreen] I HEARD THAT!
Tobey
[looks at his mom] MOTHER!
[grabs Tobey's ear and leaves] You're coming with me young man!
WordGirl · 70 quotes
