Dr. Two-Brains quotes from WordGirl

Dr. Two-Brains

[getting his picture taken] Cheese! Photo please! How's it look? Wow, that's good, put that one on a mousepad. [suddenly lurches toward Becky, laughing maniacally] MOUSEPAD!!!

Dr. Two-Brains

Look! LOOK! The cheese is getting even bigger! BIGGER! BIGGER! Oh, my plan is working beyond my wildest dreams! [pause] Uh, something is not right here. [WordGirl scoops them up in a jar.]

I think we’ve been shrunk!

Dr. Two-Brains

Shrunk? Ahh! We’ve been shrunk! You’ll never take me, WordGirl!

WordGirl

Ah, put a lid on it! [She puts a lid on the jar with air holes in it.]

Dr. Two-Brains

Hey! No fair!

WordGirl

Huggy, catch! [Throws the jar to Huggy, who catches it.]

Dr. Two-Brains

Op, sorry, pardon me. On a quest for cheese here.

Tobey

You’re Dr. Two-Brains.

Dr. Two-Brains

Right the first time!

Tobey

I- I’m a big fan of your work. I read your article about “Escaping the Scene” in last month’s Modern Villain Monthly. Good stuff!

Dr. Two-Brains

Oh, pish-posh. So, what’s your schtick?

Tobey

Uh, giant robots?

Dr. Two-Brains

Catalog or homemade?

Tobey

Homemade.

Dr. Two-Brains

Nice! Wait a second, you wouldn’t happen to be Tobey the boy genius robot-- builder-- kid, would you?

Tobey

More or less.

Dr. Two-Brains

Well, this is a pleasure! [shakes his hand forcefully] I’ve been following your career! Not too shabby, kid.

Tobey

So, tell me, what brilliant and evil inventions have you been working on lately?

Dr. Two-Brains

Oh, you know, this and that, gravity machine, time travel, brie blintzes… oh, and I recently tried turning platinum into cheese, but all I got was a strong, super-thin metal with a bitter steel aftertaste. [eats another piece of cheese]

Tobey

Hmm… you know, I’ve been trying forever to develop a material just like that!

Dr. Two-Brains

Really?

Tobey

Well, I am a robot man, of course. And with your new metal, I would be able to build my most indestructible robot yet! Uh, any chance, Doctor, that you would be interested in a collaboration?

Dr. Two-Brains

Tobey? Can I call you Tobey? Why not? I’ve got a few days to kill. [shakes hands with Tobey]

Tobey

Excellent!

Tobey

Oh please, I did ninety percent of the work! So much for an equal collaboration!

Dr. Two-Brains

You’re right, child, it wasn’t equal, because I did all of-- [a security person walks past them, holding Bootsy. Two-Brains freaks out, tossing the remote which Tobey catches.] AHHHH! A CAT!

Tobey

Oh, are we afraid of a little cat? A little bitty kitty cat?! [he programs Mousezilla to flex his tail, pick up Bootsy and carry the cat back to him. Tobey sets the remote down on the tail, and holds Bootsy up in front of Two-Brains, taunting him.]  Kitty, kitty, kitty!

Dr. Two-Brains

Keep away, keep away! [Huggy jumps onto the back of Mousezilla and slides down the tail, He grabs the remote, unnoticed] Oh yeah, well at least I don’t love WordGirl, like you do!

Tobey

Well, you’re afraid of a little kitty, kitty kitty! Meow, meow, meow!

Dr. Two-Brains

Love, love, love!

Tobey

[singing] Dr. Two-Brains, he sees the kitty and he goes "eek"--

WordGirl

Great job, Huggy! Let’s see if this mouse can swim!   HYAH! [She picks it up by the whisker and heaves it far out into the ocean. Down on the ground, Tobey is still tormenting Two-Brains, oblivious as to what has happened.]

Tobey

[singing] Meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow MEOW!

Dr. Two-Brains

[singing to the tune of "Here comes the bride"] Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love--

Tobey

That’s it-- our collaboration is OVER!

Dr. Two-Brains

Hmph! Finally we agree.

Tobey

Uh-- where are we?

Dr. Two-Brains

And why are we in handcuffs?

Whoops.

Sally

[in jail] Okay everybody. Here's the thing. We are in a prison and there is no way that I'm spending the rest of my life here because some power hungry eating alien decides she wants to take over the Earth!

Yeah? But what could we do?

Dr. Two-Brains

This lady's even more powerful than WordGirl!

Sally

Oh, I think I know a man with a plan [laughs] and a boy with a ploy. [laughs]

Oh! Is that one of those newfangled gadgets kids are always playing?

Sally

Uh, a ploy is a trick or a clever way of doing something!

Oh! You mean, like when I pretend to be a harmless old lady just so I can fool some sucker I want to rob? [laughs]

Sally

Exactly. That's a ploy you use.

Mmm-hm, we could use one of those right now.

Sally

Oh, yeah, but remember, I've got a couple of guys in my back pocket. But we don't have pockets because we're in jail! They don't let you have pockets because it might hold a weapon.

Dr. Two-Brains

You know, I'm having a heck of a lot of fun today. Sure, I don't like stickers as much as my henchmen do-

No one does!

Dr. Two-Brains

But you know what? I love seeing them happy, and their happiness is having an influence on my mood!