SSeymour
Answer all my questions and win stuff! I’m your host, Seymour Orlando Smooth. Hi everyone, and welcome to the game show where the contestant is-- YOU! If you received an answer sheet in the mail last week, pull it out right now!
[picking up a paper next to her] Okay...
SSeymour
Alrighty then, here… we go! Please neatly print the answer to each question in the appropriately numbered box. Question one… what is a word beginning with the letter “P” that means agree to allow? For example, a parent signs her child’s “mmm-mmm-mmm” slip to go on a field trip.
SSeymour
And what's your name, my friend?
TJ Botsford. And I'm really excited because I just got a bunch of money for my birthday.
SSeymour
Birthday money? Today is my mother's birthday. Okay, TJ, I'm going to grant you a wish, anything you want.
But, how do I know my wish will come true?
SSeymour
I'll prove it to you. Give me a dollar and close your eyes. All right. Now, make a wish for $2.00. And... Voila!
SSeymour
Now I'm sure you want more than just $2.00, don't you?
I wish for the new WordGirl Superkit with cape, helmet, and power pack.
SSeymour
Oh. So you like WordGirl.
SSeymour
Well, have I got good news for you. Today, and today only, I'm granting WordGirl wishes.
SSeymour
Now, how would you like the WordGirl superkit with cape, helmet, and power pack and the all-new WordGirl Supersonic Jet Autographed by WordGirl herself?
Eh! Are you kidding me? That would be the best birthday ever.
SSeymour
Well, it can all be yours for the low, low price of all of your birthday money.
SSeymour
You, are my friend, are free to go.
Yeah! But where's my WordGirl stuff?
SSeymour
Ho, ho, ho! What am I a magician? Supersonic Jets and Peking Duck take 24 hours. My friend. The WordGirl Supersonic Jet will be delivered first thing in the morning.
Stop right there, Smooth!
SSeymour
Eh? Ah! Ah! Fling.
Ugh. We're stuck in a cacoon of hair gel.
SSeymour
That's right, WordGirl. I wish I could stick around, but I have to go spend the town's money. Ha, ha! Maybe I'll buy a gold pool for my new mansion. Ha, ha, ha!
Seymour Orlando Smooth, welcome to the show. What would you say if I told you I had the last dollar in town? And it could be-- Yeah--yours.
SSeymour
Hmm. Okay, okay. I'll play along. How do I get the last dollar?
All you have to do is give me, TJ Botsford, one more wish.
SSeymour
Well, my bright young friend, you are in luck. Because today, and today only, I'm granting wishes for the low, low cost of $1.00.
It's a deal! Here's my wish. That you set WordGirl and Captain Huggyface free.
SSeymour
Oh. Hmm. Oh, I don't know.
SSeymour
Oh! All right. Wish granted.
Those handcuffs are the only kind of bracelets you'll be wearing for a while.
Handcuffs! Bracelets! Good one, WordGirl.
Wow. Thanks, TJ. And we couldn't have gotten this villain You really had him hoodwinked. And here's your birthday money back. [Hands TJ his birthday money]
How did you know about my birthday money, WordGirl?
No time to answer, helpful friend. Huggy and I have to go... Somewhere... Now!
[On the street outside the studio, Seymour and the brothers are making their getaway.]
SSeymour
Ha ha! We’re getting away!
HHarry
In this really fun car! It’s got everything we wanted.
CChip
Yeah. And look at this! It even flies.
SSeymour
Right. It-- wait a minute. Cars don’t fly!
This one does! [She is below the car with Huggy, carrying it with her through the air.]
SSeymour
WordGirl. Well, I’m certainly not related to see you here.
You shouldn’t be. [Seymour repeatedly bangs his head against the windshield as WordGirl carries the car inside the walls of the prison.]: Narrator, tell them what they’ve won.
You’ve got it, WordGirl. For breaking the rules, you three cheaters have won a long vacation right here in not-so-luxurious county jail!
SSeymour
[sarcastically] Great.
That’s right, jail, where you’ll spend your days and nights making license plates, eating disgusting food, and sleeping on some of the most uncomfortable beds in the world! Congratulations!
SBSeymour and the Brothers
[together] Thank you.
[to the warden] Our work here is done. Now, let’s go. Word UP! [as she leaves, Dr. Two-Brains walks over to the car and admires it. WordGirl picks up the car and carries it off.]
SSeymour
Brothers, this is the greatest day of my life. We stole all the money in town and we got away from that pesky WordGirl. Ha, ha! I'm so happy, I can't stop smiling!
SSeymour
Ahh! I've been blinded by my own bright, white smile! Don't worry, guys. My eyesight is slowly coming back, and I don't see WordGirl anywhere. Ha, ha, ha! I guess we got away! We're home free! We're home free!
You're home, alright, but you're not free.
SSeymour
You picked up my car and dropped us in jail, didn't you?
Pretty smooooth, huh, Seymour?
SSeymour
[grunts] Now let me guess. You're going to make us give back all the money we stole?
HHarry
Even the enromous amount of money in this suitcase?
SSeymour
Oh, heh! Let's just keep that suitcase closed, shall we?
Aha ha, ha, ha, ha! Hair gel and orange sport coats. I had a feeling there was no money in there.
SSeymour
Of course there wasn't. If I had an enomous amount of money, I wouldn't have had to steal money, now would I?
Well, Seymour, you may never get to spend an enermous amount of money, but there's one thing you will get to spend-- An enrmous amount of time in jail! Ha, ha! It's good.
SSeymour
So, WordGirl. It looks like you're finally trapped. Ha ha ha! We got you after all.
[offscreen] Stop! Stop! We're coming out!
SSeymour
Ok, we'll stop. Just keep your hands where we can see them.
[WordGirl uses her shiny teeth to shine the villains]
[appears on TV] This arrest was brought to you by Seymour Smooth Brand Teeth Whitener.
WordGirl · 70 quotes
