AAnnouncer
Wordgirl is made possible by: The Corporation for Public Broadcasting's Ready to Learn Grant, and by Viewers Like You. Thank You. (WordGirl flies off)
All S1
Characters
TobeyPatton Oswalt · 32 quotes
WordGirlDannah F. Phirman · 24 quotes
BBBecky BostfordDannah F. Phirman · 17 quotes
SallyMaria Bamford · 14 quotes
TJTom Kenny · 10 quotes
CClaireDannah Phirman · 8 quotes
PMiss Power7 quotes
SSeymour7 quotes
Dr. Two-BrainsTom Kenny · 6 quotes
TimRyan Raddatz · 5 quotes
NNarrator4 quotes
VioletMaria Bamford · 4 quotes
Ms. RipleyGrey DeLisle · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Tobey & WordGirl (13), Tobey & Becky Bostford (9), Becky Bostford & Sally (7)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[first scene of the series]
Claire McCallister is about to go on a business trip, and leave a babysitter in charge of her son, the mischievous boy genius, Tobey.
MMrs. McCallister
Okay, just a few more things before I go.
TSTobey's Babysitter
Okay!
MMrs. McCallister
[handing her various remote control devices] Here's the homing device for Tobey's tracking bracelet, the button to short out his electrical defense shield, the nullifier to neutralize his giant attacking robots... what else, what else?
TSTobey's Babysitter
Wait! Giant attacking robots?
MMrs. McCallister
Okay, got to go! Bye! [walks out the door]
[Tobey's babysitter looks nervously over toward Tobey's room as she walks toward it, opens the door, and peers in, Tobey appears to be sitting on a rocking chair, reading a book about robots while he looks over at her and smiles, then goes back to reading, Tobey's babysitter closes the door, waits a few seconds, then barges in again]
TSTobey's Babysitter
Gotcha! [she sees that he is still sitting and reading] Oh! [giggles, then leaves closing the door]
[after she is gone, the image of Tobey flickers as the scene pans to the closet door as it opens, to reveal that Tobey is actually in there, and what the babysitter was seeing was a hologram projection and Tobey gives an evil laugh]
[at Tobey's house, Huggy is still doing charades, trying to explain what's happening in the city]
TSTobey's Babysitter
[talking to Tobey's hologram] Are you having as hard a time understanding him as I am? [The hologram again nods at an appropriate time. She then talks to Huggy] If Tobey can’t understand you, then nobody can. He's like the best kid I ever babysitted, and I've babysitted them all… wait--is it babysitted, or babysat, I can never remember… [as she is talking, the hologram flickers, and Huggy tries to get the Babysitter’s attention, but she just goes on talking] ...and he's like the best kid ever, he’s so quiet, I don’t think he even said two words since I’ve been here. It’s so funny his mom even thinks I need this! [holds up a remote] I don’t even know what it does, something about robots, but… [Huggy beams at the sight of the remote. He grabs it from her and runs] Hey! [she starts to run after him, but trips on a power cord, which unplugs the hologram generator as she watches as Tobey’s image disappears, then picks up the device that she unplugged, and realizes she has been had] Why, you little!
[Tobey and WordGirl are still in the city playing Crash or Pie]
Well, after a strong rally by Tobey--
And a healthy dose of cheating!
--we're tied at 6! Time for... the lightning round! You each take a turn giving me a synonym for the lightning word! The first person to give a wrong word loses! We start with WordGirl. Are you ready?
Oh, yeah!
Bring it!
Okay, here we go! The lightning word is... enormous!
Big.
Large.
Jumbo.
Huge!
Gargantuan!
Massive!
Mammoth!
[struggling to come up with another word] Uh... giant!
Gigantic!
[still struggling] Uh... Uhh... Unsmall!
What?
Unsmall.
That's not a word!
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
IS TOO!
IS NOT!
Whoa, stop! When there's an argument, it's up to the judge to decide who's right.
Ah, fine.
[gruffly] Fine.
The fate of the city hangs in the balance! What will the brilliant and handsome judge decide?
Oh, brother...
Will he side with WordGirl, and save the city? Or will he side with Tobey, and watch it be destroyed? Stay tuned and find out! [pause] Um... what was the argument about again?
Well, the original word was enormous, and Tobey's answer was unsmall!
Oh, that's not a word. WordGirl wins!
Ha! Well, Tobey, looks like it's time to shut down your [does air quotes] "unsmall" friends!
Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot to tell you something... [holds his remote in front of him and presses the button]
Hey!
...I'm a very sore loser! [WordGirl flies up and prepares to battle the robots, but they all abruptly shut down and she returns to the podium] What did you do?!
I have no idea.
[a whistle is heard nearby, both Tobey and WordGirl look over and see Huggy holding the remote control that he got from the babysitter, one that shuts down the robots]
Great job, Huggy!
Give me that! [jumps Huggy, and they get into a tug of war over the remote. He finally gets it from him] A-HA! [he prepares to start up the robots again, when a car pulls up. His mother steps out and walks toward him.] Oh, my. [clears throat] Uh, hi Mom! Uh, you look great! Did you have a nice trip? [notices her looking at all the robots lying around] What? Oh--these! These aren’t mine. I--I was just out for a walk… minding my own busi--- [his babysitter, who had come along with Mrs. McCallister, dangles the hologram machine in front of him.] ---ness… uh, OK… these are mine, but I wasn’t going to-- uh-- oh, forget it. [his mother grabs him by the ear and drags him away] Ow, ow, ow!
BHBeau Handsome
Hello. I'm Beau Handsome and this is…
AAudience
May I Have a Word?
BHBeau Handsome
As usual, the player who correctly defines today's featured word would win a fabulous prize. Let's play.
AAudience
May I Have a Word?
BHBeau Handsome
Yes you may. Today's featured word is Hurl. To give you a clue, here are some clips from WordGirl that show the meaning of the word.
Becky! Why didn’t you clean your room when I asked you to last week?
Umm… I was busy? [thinking about battling Tobey’s robots]
Well, you certainly had enough time to eat all these bananas! [Bob looks away innocently.]
[trying to hide the WordGirl emblem on her shirt] I’m sorry Dad, I promise I’ll do it after I get back from the-- uh, library! I have to return a book.
Becky, the library has plenty of books. I’m sure they can get by for now without that one.
But it’s-- their best one! And it’s overdue! What will they think of me?
I’m sure the librarian will be just as disappointed in you as I am. You’ll stay here until you’ve cleaned up this mess! I’ll just go to the discount cookie store by myself. [leaves]
[Dr. Two-Brains and his henchman are getting shrunk]
Look! LOOK! The cheese is getting even bigger! BIGGER! BIGGER! Oh, my plan is working beyond my wildest dreams! [pause] Uh, something is not right here. [WordGirl scoops them up in a jar.]
UHUnnamed henchman
I think we’ve been shrunk!
Shrunk? Ahh! We’ve been shrunk! You’ll never take me, WordGirl!
Ah, put a lid on it! [She puts a lid on the jar with air holes in it.]
Hey! No fair!
Huggy, catch! [Throws the jar to Huggy, who catches it.]
[Tobey is still grounded in his room sitting in his rocking chair, looking through a scrapbook with images of WordGirl.]
Oh, you think you’re SO perfect, don’t you? Always trying to show me up with excellent grasp of vocabulary and your dark, glossy locks! Well, your cleverness and beauty won’t be enough to stop me this time, WordGirl! This time.
[A knock on the door]
[offscreen] You’d better have your coat on, young man! We are leaving for the department store in five minutes!
Ready when you are mother! [closes the book on his thumb and cries out, then starts sucking on it]
[WordGirl returns carrying the hand of the robot.]
Plagued by malfunction! Okay, fine, well you won’t solve my next riddle so easily!
Are you gonna use the doll one now?
No! Maybe. Yes. But it won’t matter! You’ll taste the bitter taste of def-- [The changing room door flies open, and Claire McCallister stands there towering over Tobey.] Feat. And I, for one, will be writing to the management. This, uh, mannequin arm has been lying here just waiting for someone to trip over. Uh, ready to go? Good! Because this shopping trip is taking a lot longer than you promised! Or-- I suppose, if you had just a few more things you wanted to try on-- a few more… [Claire grabs Tobey by the ear and drags him off.] Ow, ow-ow-ow-OW!
[Mrs. McCallister is standing in line, still reading her magazine.]
[offscreen] Excuse me. Mrs. McCallister? [Mrs. McCallister looks at Tobey, standing on a severed robot hand] Do I even need to say anything?
[Mrs. McCallister grabs Tobey by the ear and leads him off. Tobey drops the book.]
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Op, sorry, pardon me. On a quest for cheese here.
You’re Dr. Two-Brains.
Right the first time!
I- I’m a big fan of your work. I read your article about “Escaping the Scene” in last month’s Modern Villain Monthly. Good stuff!
Oh, pish-posh. So, what’s your schtick?
Uh, giant robots?
Catalog or homemade?
Homemade.
Nice! Wait a second, you wouldn’t happen to be Tobey the boy genius robot-- builder-- kid, would you?
More or less.
Well, this is a pleasure! [shakes his hand forcefully] I’ve been following your career! Not too shabby, kid.
So, tell me, what brilliant and evil inventions have you been working on lately?
Oh, you know, this and that, gravity machine, time travel, brie blintzes… oh, and I recently tried turning platinum into cheese, but all I got was a strong, super-thin metal with a bitter steel aftertaste. [eats another piece of cheese]
Hmm… you know, I’ve been trying forever to develop a material just like that!
Really?
Well, I am a robot man, of course. And with your new metal, I would be able to build my most indestructible robot yet! Uh, any chance, Doctor, that you would be interested in a collaboration?
Tobey? Can I call you Tobey? Why not? I’ve got a few days to kill. [shakes hands with Tobey]
Excellent!
[Dr. Two-Brains and Tobey are still bickering below them.]
Oh please, I did ninety percent of the work! So much for an equal collaboration!
You’re right, child, it wasn’t equal, because I did all of-- [a security person walks past them, holding Bootsy. Two-Brains freaks out, tossing the remote which Tobey catches.] AHHHH! A CAT!
Oh, are we afraid of a little cat? A little bitty kitty cat?! [he programs Mousezilla to flex his tail, pick up Bootsy and carry the cat back to him. Tobey sets the remote down on the tail, and holds Bootsy up in front of Two-Brains, taunting him.] Kitty, kitty, kitty!
Keep away, keep away! [Huggy jumps onto the back of Mousezilla and slides down the tail, He grabs the remote, unnoticed] Oh yeah, well at least I don’t love WordGirl, like you do!
Well, you’re afraid of a little kitty, kitty kitty! Meow, meow, meow!
Love, love, love!
[singing] Dr. Two-Brains, he sees the kitty and he goes "eek"--
[Huggy looks at the remote, and presses a button which releases WordGirl from the whiskers.]
Great job, Huggy! Let’s see if this mouse can swim! HYAH! [She picks it up by the whisker and heaves it far out into the ocean. Down on the ground, Tobey is still tormenting Two-Brains, oblivious as to what has happened.]
[singing] Meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow MEOW!
[singing to the tune of "Here comes the bride"] Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love--
[WordGirl whisks them both into the back of police paddy wagon]
That’s it-- our collaboration is OVER!
Hmph! Finally we agree.
Uh-- where are we?
And why are we in handcuffs?
[The barred doors closes to the back of the paddy wagon, and it starts to drive away. WordGirl is holding Bootsy.]
TBDr. Two-Brains and Tobey
Whoops.
JJudge
First, I want to thank all the contestants for their wonderful inventions. There are no losers here, only kids who didn’t win. Now the winner of this year’s Young Inventor’s Challenge and Friendly Competition is-- the apple corer and egg slicer in one! [He presents the trophy to Violet]
[shocked] What?
THANK YOOUUU! THAANK YOOOOUUUU!
JJudge
[trying to calm her down] Thank you, Violet… very good, very good...
THANNK YOOOOOOUUUUU!
Hold on, stop! [clears throat and tries to gather himself] Heh-heh, there-- there must be some mistake. Did you guys forget about my robot?
JJudge
No. Don’t get us wrong, your robot is pretty amazing. But the apple corer and egg slicer in one? Whoa-oh-oh! It’s so practical!
[getting more irate by the second] Eh--er--- this is ridiculous! There is no way that thing is better than my robot!
JJudge
Oh, sure it is! Okay, let’s say you got two bags-- one is full of apples, and one is full of eggs…
FORGET THE APPLES AND EGGS!
JJudge
I’m sorry, Tobey… I just don’t think we can.
[Violet holds up a sliced apple for the judge. WordGirl and Huggy arrive.]
That-- is--- IT! I’ve tried to be good...
Uh-oh.
...but I REFUSE to lose this contest to that-- that hunk of metal masquerading as a kitchen utensil! Robot--
Wait for it…
--DESTROY!
And, there it is. [flies off with Huggy]
[Everyone screams flees from the stage except for Violet, who walks off slowly by herself. One of the robot’s feet lands beside her.]
Oh, is it time to go already?
Well then, I say, let’s get this party started! But first, I’d like to announce the grand prize. The student who earns the most points at the end of the day will win-- THIS! Authentic, super-deluxe teacher-only magic markers! Woo! [She pulls a package of magic markers from inside the trophy, and holds them up. Becky's eyes light up.]
[sighs] Only the teachers get those! Think of all the beautiful words I could write!
That’s the prize? You expect me to slave away in the direct sunlight to win some magical ink pens? [raises his hand] Mrs. Ripley? I- I’m afraid I’m unable to participate in your day of silly games. [He starts to walk away, but she jumps in front of him.]
Unable to participate? What’s the matter?
Uh… side ache. Yes, oh, my side. It aches.
Ohhh, I’m so sorry! Go to the nurse’s office immediately!
What’s the matter, Tobey? Afraid you won’t win?
What? O- Of course I can win if I wanted to, I just don’t want to.
SScoops
It’s okay if you don’t win, you know. I’m just looking forward to having a good time with my friends.
Yeah, don’t be afraid. Just playing the games is fun.
I’m in it for the markers.
Well, thank you all for sharing! Now before I go, let me assure you I am stronger, faster, and just generally better than all of you. I have the agility of a cougar and the strength of a lion, goodbye. [As he walks off, he trips on something and hits the ground. The kids laugh, causing him to get angry.] Fine. I’ll take part in the competition, but mark my words, I’m going to win those markers, not because I want them, but to show you that I, Tobey, am a winner! Ha-ha-ha-ha! And-- I’ll be right back.
And now, it is with great pleasure that I present to Tobey McCallister the grand prize!
[standing beside Ms. Ripley and the other kids clap] I just want to say to all of the people who doubted me… I WIN! Because I’m better than all of you! At winning! Ha-ha! Fools! Fools!
[she and Huggy show up] Not so fast there, Tobey!
Why, WordGirl! What a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?
I just happened to be flying by the neighborhood, searching for crime to fight… yeah.
Hmm. Too bad you weren’t here a few minutes ago. You missed my spectacular performance. See? [holds up the markers] I won the grand prize!
Tell me, Tobey, was your victory today authentic, or did you cheat during the competition? [She grabs the markers from him]
[gasps] WordGirl!
Why, that’s absurd! Of course I didn’t cheat.
Then how do you explain your sudden athletic ability?
Vitamins.
[Huggy grabs the remote from his pants pocket, and presses a button.]
What if I said you used a robot-- a robot that looks just like you?
RTRobo-Tobey
[walks over to them and everyone gasps] Prepare to lose.
Prepare to lose is right, Tobey! Since Tobey cheated, these magic markers belong to whoever finished second in the competition.
[tackles Huggy, and takes the remote back from him] I’ve been embarrassed once today, WordGirl, and it’s not going to happen again! [He presses a button on the remote, and Robo-Tobey launches itself at her. The markers go flying. Then Robo-Tobey lassos her with a rope.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's WordGirl pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.