Roy Biggins quotes from Wings

Roy

It just so happens I've been keeping an eye on him. He just sits there morning to night reading his paper, taking the occasional nap, minding his own business. I don't trust him.

Brian

Quick, Helen, call the SWAT team! There's a guy loose in the airport minding his own business!

Joe

You ought to introduce yourself, Brian. Maybe he gives lessons.

Roy

I cannot believe you fell for that! You should have seen the looks on your faces when you dove in!

Joe

[enraged] Gosh Roy, maybe there is a time to lighten up. I guess people tend to take it too seriously when they hear "Fire, fire, abandon ship!"

Joe

I played some ball in high school too.

Roy

Played semi-pro myself. Had guys like you for lunch.

Joe

[looking at Roy's belly] Must have had quite a few of them.

Helen

Roy's son R.J. said he wanted to learn the cello. Fat chance in Roy approving that!

Roy

Helen, R.J. told me he wanted to take cello lessons.

Helen

Well, yes Roy. Before you object..

Roy

Come to think of it, I thought over his request and realized he has been too top-heavy on sports. For the college admission boards, athletes are a dime a dozen. Another extracurricular activity like music would look good for college applications.

Helen

Great, I must be honest, I am surprised you would approve Roy.

Roy

Nothing is too good for my boy. Besides, it would behoove him to take in some culture.

Brian

Now you can share your gift with R.J.

Helen

Forget that! The Celtics lost again and I need the teaching fee to pay off my bookie!

Lowell

Back to work after spending two weeks at a great place.

Roy

Where did you go?

Lowell

Dollywood.

Roy

What did you like best about it?

Lowell

I enjoyed the majestic view of the Smoky Mountains.

Roy

So Dolly was there.

Lowell

You know Roy, I think Dolly Parton is a fine example of how great our country is. She was born into poverty in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee and worked to become a music superstar, then she gives back to her community by building an amusement park to bring much needed jobs and tourism to an impoverished zone of America. But all us guys ever do is make jokes about her bra size.

Roy

OK, Mather, sorry.

Lowell

No problem. I got you something.