Neal Caffrey quotes from White Collar

Jones

So... I gotta ask: what does "having all" mean to Neal Caffrey?

Neal

Never having to worry about money. Doing something meaningful with people I respect.

Jones

[chuckling] Screw you.

Neal

Screw me?

Jones

Yeah... screw you. You're already living the dream.

Neal

No, I'm not-!

Jones

Yes! Yes, you are. You are the damn dream with a tracking anklet.

Neal

Yeah... well, screw you, too, then. 'Cause you've got the same things I do.

Neal

How'd you get a warrant?

Peter

I have a friend in the U.S. Attorney's office... and I bought a boatload of her kid's band candy.

Neal

You can never have too much band candy.

Peter

Yeah... I just wish they had something besides those damn chocolate bars.

Neal

What’s going on? Are you leaving?

Sara

The renovations on my apartment are far enough along, that I can move back in.

Neal

Doesn’t mean you have to head out right this second.

Sara

Neal. I’m leaving, Done.

Neal

A few hours ago, we were fine. And now you’re walking out? What Happened?

Sara

Well, the inevitable happened, Neal. I mean, we didn’t think this was gonna last.

Neal

I didn’t know we were a fait accompli.

Sara

Come on. This was fun .. But we’re two very different people.

Neal

Oh, come on, Sara, you’ve always known who I am.

Sara

Yeah, you’re right.

Neal

Okay .. I guess you figured out everything I have to offer. We could be good together.

Sara

[sighs] I know … Neal, you live in the clouds… And I live on West 69th.

Neal

I never promised you anything else.

Sara

I know.

Neal

Well, you found your way out.

Sara

I’ll figure out the rest of my things.

Neal

Yeah.

Sara

Caffrey, please take care of yourself.

Neal

What's around here?

Mozzie

The Palace.

Neal

Always a fan favorite.

Neal

I hope you don't forget anything between us.

Sara

Nope, I won't forget that you stole the Raphael.

Mozzie

(Neal's close friend and a fellow conman): Do you want to leave or not?

Neal

No. There are things about this life I'm not ready to give up.

Mozzie

Do you even know what this life is anymore? I mean, you're, on a leash...

Neal

I can always walk out that door, Moz. I can never walk back in.

Mozzie

Well, then, you've made your choice. I always thought ours would be a happy ending.

Neal

If you want a happy ending, it depends—

Mozzie

—On where you stop the story. Yeah, Orson Welles.

Peter

What are you planning on using these for?

Neal

(smiles) Always be prepared right?

Peter

Yeah (grabs Neal by the arm and pulls him inside with him and talks to security) I have a hostile witness on my hands, do you have a holding room or office I can leave him while I conduct my business upstairs?

Yeah, right here.

Neal

Come one, Peter, you cannot lock me in here-

Peter

(closes and locks the door on a still-protesting Neal) Watch me.

Peter

Why didn't you leave?

Neal

You...Elizabeth, Sara, the view from that porch, getting off the elevator Monday morning...I have a life here.

Neal

I didn't get caught in bed with her. They found me on the ledge outside her window.

I remember seeing you standing there with nothing but a solid gold tray covering your junk. I was the one that got you down from there before they started shooting at you.

Peter

I'll need an alias.

Neal

Alistair Stone. A wealthy Hong Kong banker, relocating to New York, looking for a school for your son, Alistair Jr. You like catamarans and cognac.

Peter

It's like you're an alias savant. [Neal shrugs] I do like catamarans, but, let's go with Peter instead of Alistair.

Neal

Linda's gonna be upset.

Peter

Linda?

Neal

Your wife. She affectionately calls you Ali.

Peter

She'll get over it.

Elizabeth

Spousal immunity?

Neal

You made that up.

Peter

Yes, she has spousal immunity.

Neal

Guess they couldn't crack the safe.

Peter

So they took the whole damn thing.

Neal

Okay, who’s the case agent?

Peter

Before I tell you, remember that your commutation hearing is coming up. You should consider this an opportunity to impress Diana, Jones and myself with you maturity and self-restraint.

Neal

Peter, what did you do?

Mozzie

Neal! We are con men,grifters, mountebanks, flim flamers. We have to keep our skills sharp.

Neal

Flim flammers?

Mozzie

See? I'm already turning into a dinosaur.

Neal

Jones, she [Sara] roped you into this too?

Jones

Well, Peter said to help her legally, so you wouldn't have to illegally.