Okay.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Wild guess. Al's mom found out.
Maybe we should give 'em a little space?
It's not like we're eavesdropping. We don't speak the language.
Angry, disappointed parent? I am fluent. I thought I taught you better than this. I sacrificed so much. Why don't you just stab me in the heart?
You're talking about Riley, right?
Oh, sweetie, I'm talking about the both of you.
Hey! What's going on?
I just spoke with my mother.
Really? How is she?
I'm afraid my freewheeling lifestyle has come to a close. No need to lock up your daughters, America. They're safe now.
What happened?
She says the only way to restore honor to our name is if she finds me a wife from a good family.
A wife?
Can't you just do a bunch of Muslim Hail Marys or something?
No, no, no, no. If your parents are not happy with you, Mr. Art, God is not happy with you.
Are you listening to this?
She already has someone in mind. Her name is Nasim.
That's a pretty name.
She was the neighborhood bully. When we were kids, she used to hold me down and spit on my face till I cried.
Maybe I should arrange a marriage for you.
Go for it.
Ooh. Called my bluff. Did not see that coming.
A stack of magazines I found in my dad's underwear drawer.
Cindy has invited me for dinner tomorrow, and, um, I think I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level.
Ask me anything.
All I need is to study for a few days.
Well, this is a surprise.
So why don't you leave while you still have your teeth?
I was. But now I just want you both to be happy.
You are going to kill it in Vegas.
We are going to kill it in Vegas. Roller coasters, magic shows, and all-you-can-eat buffets. It's like a city designed by a 14-year-old boy.
48 miles an hour?! Come on, Al!
[Final lines of the series]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's United States of Al pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.