[During the opening sequence]
Tonight, our track's a bit foggy, a man eats a snack, and we move about in a caravan.
“February 13th, 2011” · Season 16, Episode 4
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (8), James May (3), Richard Hammond (2)
[during the forensic test]
They've actually already discovered that your car used to belong to a Muslim man from Birmingham.
What, they can tell that just by swabbing the seats?
No. They found this letter.
[Jeremy laughs as James reveals it]
JMJohn Manlove
[talking about the results of Richard's car] Again, the steering wheel had what turned out to be saliva staining on it. And lastly, we have pubic hairs, [James snorts] and, uh, faeces.
[laughs] I'm sorry, did you just say the word "faeces"?
JMJohn Manlove
What certainly appeared to be faecal matter, yeah.
That's poo, isn't it?
That's poo. It's...
[to Richard] Your car's got poo in it.
Is that... normal?
It's like driving around in a Morroccan prison, in the front of his car? [voiceover] After the forensic test, my colleagues were very distressed.
[James is wearing surgical gloves and a mouth mask in his car, Richard is wearing a hazmat suit]
Oh, God!
[during the Pagani Zonda R review Jeremy points out that the Zonda R is not road legal nor can it be used on a track]
[voiceover] So, if it's not for racing, and it's not for the road, what is it for? Well, this.
[cut to the Zonda R being driven very fast]
[after the build quality test with Jeremy's convertible, he gets out]
[his voice is high-pitched from breathing helium] Right. I just have to say, that's a stupid test.
[Richard laughs]
[still in a helium voice] It is stupid. It's just a test of how big your lungs are.
[James and Jermemy are lining up their BMW 325 Convertibles for a 0-100-0 drag race]
It's not the paving stone in the back I'm worried about; it's the automatic gearbox. Doing a drag race in an auto is like a 100 metre sprint in wellies, full of tadpoles.
[Having reached 100mp/h]:
No brakes, no brakes!
[shot pans to flyby of Jeremy's car}
This is not stopping!
[shot pans to another flyby]
Please STOP!
[James chuckles]
JJames (voiceover)
Finally, it was Jeremy's turn.
He's going to have to breathe. Oh, he's done it, he's done it!
[after the build quality test with Jeremy's convertible, he gets out]
[his voice is high-pitched from breathing helium] Right...
[Richard bursts out in laughter]
[still in a helium voice] I just have to say that's stu... it is stupid! It's just to test how big your lungs are!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.