[driving the Niva]
Does this mean we've actually found a Communist car we like?
[the Niva's engine cuts out and Jeremy is unable to re-start it]
No!
“December 7th, 2008” · Season 12, Episode 6
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (23), James May (8), Richard Hammond (6)
[Introducing Jeremy's road test of the Ford Fiesta]
Now - every week on Top Gear we get a stack of letters. But this week one in particular caught our eye. It's from a Mister Needham and it says "Why do you not test cars properly any more? Have you forgotten how?".
Now this really hurt us, so we decided to take the new Ford Fiesta and do a proper road test. Like they used to on Top Gear in the old days.
Yeah, to be honest we were quite looking forward to it. But then at the very last minute, Jeremy came in and said he wanted to do it.
[referring to a diesel version of the Fiesta]
I wouldn't bother with that particular model though because it'll almost certainly be shi-
[deadpan] Certainly will easily do 70 mph which is what I'm doing now, and that's the maximum speed you can go in Britain, so that's good... is this thorough enough for you, Mr. Needham?
[discussing the entry-level model]
Do you want that one, though? Really? Honestly? A basic model? Because I bet that's also shi-
FAFAQ about Fiesta
What if I go to a shopping centre and get chased by baddies in a Corvette?
[There follows a sequence of Clarkson in the Fiesta being chased through the interior of a shopping mall and its parking structure by a Corvette]
I'm now breaking the speed limit... INDOORS!
I've got 120 horsepower in this. You don't want any more than that on marble.
The Corvette is stuck in British Home Stores! Turning circle: not good enough.
[Q: Can I afford it?]
Prices start at around £8500, but you need £11000 to get a decent, mid-range model, so if you have £11000 to spend on a car, then yes you can. But if you've only got 40p, then... no... y-you can't.
[Q: Is it green?]
Yes. Very.
[We see the Fiesta in the background. It is, indeed, painted green.]
FAFAQ about Fiesta
What if I am asked to take part in a beach assault with the Royal Marines?
[There follows a sequence of Clarkson being transported to a beach on a marine troop landing craft. During the sequence, there are three marines in the car with Clarkson, and comments are made relating to how easy it is to shoot from out of the car's open windows and the convenience of the cup holders coincidentally being the correct size to hold hand grenades]
[as the Fiesta drives through the surf toward the beach]
Come onnnnn!
RMRoyal Marine
[from the back seat] Are we nearly there yet?
[laughing, to the Marine corporal in the front passenger seat] The kids are being annoying. Shoot them.
[Closing the episode]
Anyway, that aah, that's all we got time for this week. Next week, for reasons we don't understand, we're on at nine o'clock. So we'll see you then. Unless you're watching this on Dave. In February. In the middle of the afternoon. In which case we hope that you get a job soon. Take care, see you soon, bye!
[on the Wartburg, from E. Germany]
When they made a rally version of this, they had to fit uprated brakes, which they got from an Austin Maxi. How bad do the standard brakes have to be for a Maxi's to be better?!
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