[During the opening sequence]
Tonight. We have a race to Blackpool. The new Lamborghini comes to our studio. And at last, the Bugatti Veyron is on our track.
“November 23rd, 2008” · Season 12, Episode 4
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (11), James May (10), Richard Hammond (5)
[Starting up the show]
Now, every week either Richard or I drive a preposterously fast car around our track. But when it came to making this week's film, there was a problem: neither one of us was available. I had hurt my neck in the lorry crash, and Richard was busy selling fish at Morrison's. Which meant that for the first time ever, Captain Slow went out there... God help us...
[Describing the Zonda Roadster F]
That is the Zonda F Roadster. [voiceover] And in the already insane world of Pagani, this one has its own special padded cell.
[During the track test of the Zonda Roadster F]
The acceleration is so brutal! I think my eyes have moved around the side of my head like a pigeon.
[After a few spin offs]
[voiceover] With a little practise, I got the hang of it.
[Cut to The Stig wearing James' jumper driving the Zonda]
[voiceover] I think I know what to do at this point...
[mimicking Jeremy's catchphrase]
POWEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
[After testing the Zonda Roadster F]
Now the office say they have another car to try on the track but I shouldn't worry because it's only a VW. [Looks in the distance] Funny.
[Cuts to the Veyron]
[Standing in front of the Bugatti and Zonda]
Now, I believe the done thing at this point is to have a drag race. So if nobody objects, we'll have one... [pauses] with these two. I will be in the Zonda, and the Veyron will be driven by the Stig... who wasn't here earlier.
[After Jeremy has shown him clips of his practise in the Zonda]
I know what the problem is: it's my hair. [Jeremy scoffs] No, really. When you get up to speed my hair flaps about and gets in the way. When I put that white helmet on, it was much better!
[during the news]
Jeremy?
Yeah?
The slippers?
Yeah?
Are they a bet?
Oh course they're a bet.
[During Pagani Zonda Lap.]
This car can be vicious, but in an amusing way, like a shark in a funny hat.
[during the news]
Oh! Big news!
Is it the Dacia Sandero?
[confused] ...No, erm...
[Discussing the Vauxhall Insignia's hard seats]
Actually, you can't criticise those, because a German panel of seat experts...
[interrupts] A what?
There's a German panel of seat experts.
And I've invited them all to your house for Christmas.
Oh God! Where would you put them, have a sea... no stand up.
[during the news]
Can anyone think of one thing, in the world, which is better hard, than soft?
Oh, that's quite awkward actually there Jeremy.
[to a man in the audience] What?...[man responds] Ice.
He got us out of it.
Yeah, well thanks for getting us out of that one mate.
[introducing the one-tank Basel to Blackpool race]
That's 750 miles of careful driving. That's not a race, that's my idea of hell!
It's my idea of heaven.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.