[discussing their challenge to eat road-kill]
'Well that's okay. [to Jeremy] You can prepare it, wash it and such, I can cook it and James can dress for dinner!
“February 11th, 2007” · Season 9, Episode 3
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (17), Richard Hammond (12), James May (4)
[while carrying a tortoise off the road] Urgh! Don't do that, tortoise! [Drops tortoise]
How can you get... there's no wild tortoises here.
Well, they gotta be somewhere.
It's escaped from some 8-year-old girl's bedroom.
How can a tortoise escape? [pretends to chase a tortoise in slow motion] Come back! Come back!
[Jeremy laughs]
I am not peeling a squirrel!
I'm thinking how long I've been out in the sun, putting that tent up. Because what I'm seeing--and you'll love this--is a cow on the roof of your Camaro.
[Jeremy has just pulled up with a cow on his roof]
What we've got to do now is...
...peel it.
[Jeremy laughs]
A bit of cheese with that would be delicious.
Hey Jeremy! I'm better. I can no longer see a cow on your roof!
If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn; you got your Best Western; you got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude. It's not the holiday programme--it's the truth.
[on the devastation in New Orleans]
How can the rest of America sleep at night knowing that this is here?
[Closing remarks]
So, this week we have two Top Gear Top Tips for you. Firstly, yes, you can buy instead of rent, and secondly, don't go to America!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.