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S6 E10

Top Gear · Season 6, Episode 10

“July 31st, 2005” quotes from Top Gear

12 quotes

“July 31st, 2005” · Season 6, Episode 10

In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (9), Richard Hammond (5), James May (4)

[During the opening sequence.]

Tonight: James May thinks he's a racing driver; Richard Hammond thinks he's Jesus; and I think I'm going to be killed.

I'd give... the rest of me year's salary... to see that sink [When Jeremy was on an Argocat amphibious vehicle]

[during the outdoor toys test]

You do know why James is feeling more sedated than usual?

Tired, scared?

He's had an operation.

Where?

[whispers into Richard's ear] On his arse.

Ooh! That's... gotta hurt!

That's ...why [laughter]

With the saddle and everything!

[voiceover] It's true.

[Jeremy has managed to get his quad bike running]

Well done, Mr Mole-Husband, you're off. [The quad suddenly stalls, and Jeremy becomes frustrated] OHHH GO-O-OD! I HATE THIS QUAD!!!

[on the high powered quad bike]

This has a top speed - and I know this because I've done it - of one million miles an hour, a million! What really annoys me is that Hammond's gonna go, "Hey, it's really pretty, I can ride standing up and everything!" and I can't. Because I'm too tall and too old and too fat and I hate it!

It has a 450cc, single cylinder engine that makes a thousand, million horsepower, and it's faster than light!

[talking about the hovercraft]

Now, listen chaps, I have had the pleasure of driving one of these before and there are one or two things I need to tell you. First of all, okay, if you see an obstacle, like if we're going over there, if you see one of those trees coming towards you--too late, you're gonna hit it.

Alright, okay.

Well, you're not worried about that?

Well, if that's what happens….

You'll turn the handlebars, that won't make any difference--straight on, okay? So you think, "Alright, I'll lift off the power, the air will come out of the sack, it'll dig in and you'll be jettisoned at 50 miles an hour into the tree--

Oh, so you hit the tree with or without the hovercraft.

Yes, that's your choice.

[after falling off a hovercraft]

I've been killed, I've definitely been killed.

[Commenting on Dubai whilst there] I've got shirts older than this city.

"Yes, Lucifer has come to our little world of milk and petrol." (Speaking of the BMW 535d allowed to come on TG's track, the first diesel powered car on their track, the "rule breaker")

[On voting for Bat Out Of Hell as the best driving anthem ever] If you do choose to vote for Bat Out of Hell then we will come round and cut off YOUR electricity!

If we were to go to one of those offroad centers-they're springing up all over the place, where you can rent stuff out and do what we did, what would you have? And I'm telling you straight-away, it wouldn't be the racing quads, because you might as well just say, "I'd like to rent some death, please, for the day!"

Yeah, "I want to be dead within the hour!", "Certainly sir, have one of these!"

[On which buggy was better] Question is, which one? Cause your Drakart…great fun, lots of sideways action-

Hooligan-style!

-but quite unsophisticated; it was like going sideways in scaffolding.

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