Ooh. Just before we do the news, we've had a letter. Got to share it with you... um... Here- pink note paper- all the i's have got little circles on them- ready? Dear Richard...
[very calm thus far] Oh, right.
[reading] Yeah, I watch Top Gear, I think you're the best looking guy on the program.
[frowning] That's hardly an achievement, is it?
You're cool- fair point- [he means that it's hardly an achievement to be the best looking guy, not that Hammond is cool] You're cool, good looking, ace hairstyle, wicked clothes...
She said that? She sounds all right!
Best wishes... that's ah- that's um, Stuart.
[Audience laughs]
It's a modern world, that's all right.
But it gets better, because would you like to know Stuart's address?
Not really, no...
The Folkestone Wing, Her Majesty's Prison, Broadmoor.
Broadmoor?
He's getting out soon and he wants to know-
But he could be watching now! Shut up!
[Raising a hand to shush Hammond] No, listen- 'What did you do with all of the shirts from the last series; can I have them?'
No! No you c- Or wait, yes, I- How long's he gonna be... at that address...? Do we know?
Um, it's better than that. Stuart, come on in! [Richard is terrified] No, I'm kidding.
I don't like that.