“July 28th, 2013” quotes from Top Gear

Jeremy

Tonight... Richard drives a new Lamborghini. James and I go on a caravan holiday. And a rock god is in our Reasonably Priced Car.

James

Well, hang on, that's not going to work. Because we know the voice recognition in cars is rubbish. It never works, does it? So, if you just say, "The Police", it will probably actually ring the police.

Jeremy

No, it will! It will, it will! Because this car's got a feature on it that if you have an accident or get into problems, it calls the emergency services for you.

Richard

Well, that's just a recipe for disaster.

Jeremy

You'll be sitting there going, "Right, get the fire brigade," and it would play The Move! [singing] "Get the fire brigade, get the fire brigade —"

Richard

"Oh, I'm in trouble, help!" [singing] "I need somebody, help!" What a terrible way to die, trapped in your car, listening to all the embarrassing rubbish on your iPod.

Jeremy

Some say he's married to one of Princess Anne's hats. And that he spent all week standing outside a hospital in London pretending to be Nicholas Witchell.

Jeremy

It's got automatic brakes! It stopped without me asking it to, 'cause it thought I was going to hit the hedge. Get in. Right, try to run me down.

James

Oh, all right. Now, if this doesn't work, you all heard him say, "Try to run me down."

You know what, my mum used to say don't ever be afraid: she said amateurs built the Ark and pros built the Titanic. Meanwhile, I got in this car and I was scared to death.

James

Oh, no. This is disastrous, I'm actually driving through Jeremy's caravan!

Jeremy

James, are things as bad back there as I suspect they are?

James

Well, let me put it this way, I've run over your left hand wall. Oh, and your portable lavatory! [laughs]

James

I could actually overtake now but this is too amusing. I've got to — [laughs uncontrollably]

James

[voice over] Sadly, I was laughing so much, I crashed … into myself.

James

[jackknifing] I've spun!