TV show quotes
Choo-Choo, come on, come on, let's get those trash cans emptied.
All of them, T.C.?
Of course, all of them. What do you think we are, sloppy or something?
Come on, fellas, come on. That captain will be here any minute. These guys expect me to do everything.
Oh no. Nobody could be that stupid.
[angry] I take it back. He is that stupid.
[the gang is being chased by mobsters]
What do we do, T.C.?
We'll get some police protection!
How? There isn't a cop in sight!
That's what you think, there's always one behind a billboard! [he proves his point by driving behind a billboard and chasing out a startled cop]
[the diamond goes under a steamroller]
[calling the driver] Hold it, hold it...! [a crunchy crush is heard] Oh, no! [He presents the fragments of the diamond to the jeweller] Look at it this way, Mr. Stiffany: it saves you the cost of a cutter! Just think of all these sparkling jewels, ready to capture the hearts of young ladies... Here you are with my compliments, and, ah, forget the reward... [Mr Stiffany bursts into tears]
T.C's sure been in there, uh, a long time.
Yeah. I'm hungry.
He's on his fifth pizza.
It's his sixth. But, who counts?
So we return the scarab back to the museum and everything will...
[interrupting] But what about Shirley, T.C.?
Shirley? Shirley who?
The Shirley who I gave the jade scarab to.
Looks like we'll have to, like er, snatch the scarab from Shirley.
Yeah, and unsnatch it back to the museum.
But, er, that'll be dangerous.
I know. There'll be police and nightwatchmen and burglar alarms but I think we can handle them.
That part's easy. Who's gonna handle Shirley?
[about Top Cat] I'm sure he'll use his share of the reward to pay an outstanding restaurant bill.
It's got to be here, fellas, it's got to be here! Keep looking... and keep digging!
[walking through the snowy alley and wearing a hawker box] Step right up, folks! Who's next? Only five cents apiece, and they're going fast! Step right up and form a line, folks! Hey, T.C.? This is your last chance!
[looking out of his trash can] Look, Benny, can't you see I'm busy freezing? What are you doing out in weather like this anyway? And what's my last chance?
Your last chance to buy a frozen Fudgsicle!
Sorry, try me next summer. [Slams lid, then looks out again] Frozen Fudgsicle? What are you, some kind of a nut or something? Benny, I realize you never finished kindergarten, but certainly you know that nobody sells frozen Fudgsicles in the winter.
That's just it, T.C. No competition. I'll clean up! [lick's Top Cat's toes]
[laughs] TICKLE SPOT!
Ok, Fancy, hit the breaks.
Hit the breaks, will you, Spook?
Yeah, the breaks, Chooch.
Quick, Brain, the breaks.
Breaks? Uh, what breaks?
[sarcastically] That's what I like about you, Brain. You think of nothing.
Uh, what happened?
[angry] Do me a favour, Brain. Don't tell anyone I know you.
[the anteater is eating the gang's belongings, including a banana, an apple, and Top Cat's watch.]
The verdict is unanimous. No pets! Especially not ones with ten-foot tongues!
[impersonating Dibble] Hi, Sarge. What're you doin' besides warming the chair? Sure it's Dibble. Who else would tolerate your incompetence?
[Dibble reads the note found with the baby]
Okay, Dibble, you satisfied?
Alright, so he was abandoned and you found him. Now hand him over!
But Dib, we were going to adopt the kid ourselves!
Are you kidding? YOU guys?
We'll take care of him, honest! Chooch knows how to handle diapers!
Oh, sure, pal. And what are you going to teach him, roulette?
We could take him to night school and put him through some courses...
Sorry, fellas. There's laws about recovering lost property and abandoned kids come under that heading.
[poking Dibble] But...
We take the kid in and find him a new home.
[poking Dibble] But...
Furthermore, before you can adopt a baby you have to be shown as a legal hardworking citizen, with a regular fixed income!
Oh, boy...
[loudly] Now will you cut out the stalling and give me the kid?
[the baby starts crying much to Benny and Choo Choo's horror]
Now you did it, now you woke up Charlie.
Charlie?
We named him you Officer Dibble.
Yeah, Dib. We figured you might want to be the kid's godfather.
No kiddin'. That's real nice, you guys. But the baby's got to be taken in. It's regulations. [walks off] Come on, let's go.
[leaning against the fence] Okay, Benny. Dibble's gotta make his pinch for the day. At it might as well be someone he can handle. Give him the baby.
Gee, I wish I could be tough and hard like T.C. He's got nerves of steel. Nothing upsets him.
Yeah, he's one real cool cat, man.
Hey, Benny...
Yeah, T.C.?
[weeping softly] You got a hanky I can borrow?
Sure, T.C. Here.
[to the amazement of the gang, Top Cat wipes his face on the handkerchief]
Well? What's the matter with you guys? Haven't you ever seen anyone with something in his eye before?
[offscreen] Sure we did, T.C. But not you.
Man, ain't this heat a gas?
Where were you?
Like, I was making the public library scene.
You were reading a book?
Well, like, I was faking it, but this book is so far out, I got hooked. What a crazy, mixed-up story.
What was it about, Spook?
Well, it starts out about an aardvark and ends up with everybody playing the xylophone.
What's it called?
"Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry."
"Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry?" Let me see that. [looks at the book] That's "Unabridged Dictionary"! What's the matter with you? That's nothing but words!
Oh, I thought it was kinda freeform.
Benny is the last of the all-day suckers, that's what. He has just been baited, bagged, buncoed, conned, heisted and flimflammed!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Cat pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
