Step right up, folks. This is it, the big time in the big top where for a slight fee you'll see right before your very eyes the most daring, unbelievable high trapeze act ever attempted. I call your attention to stage right for the start of this death-defying act.
Uh, nobody said anything about defying no death to me.
This brave performer will swing across the street, catch his partner and swing back, all without a net.
Choo ChooNow he tells me.
Okay, maestro, if you please.
Hey, what's that crowd doing in the alley? Top Cat must be up to something.
The least T.C. could have done was let us rehearse this once.
500 alleys in New York, and I gotta have one with a nut in it. [Brain catches him] What in the.
Officer Dibble! Excuse me, folks. I gotta go water the elephants.
Choo Choo
I'm ready, Brain! [sees Brain holding Officer Dibble] Officer Dibble, what are you doing here? Everybody wants to get in the act.
Brain, I'm warning you. Put me down or I'll run you in.
Uh, Okay. [drops Office Dibble as he lands on the trash can]
MMan
It wasn't much, but he sure is game.
That did it. Now I'm really sore. Old Dibble is on the warpath. And when I find that Top Cat, the feathers are gonna fly!
Choo-Choo
Gee, thanks for the pizza, Jazz. It's really nice of you.
JJazz
That's ok, pal, I always take of my friends. We are friends after all, right?
Choo-Choo
Yeah. Anchovies and peppers too.
JJazz
Nothing's too good for a buddy of mine. And, incidentally buddy, why is T.C. so big on the foreign lingo kick?
Choo-Choo
Oh, I don't know. T.C. never tells me anything.
Choo-Choo
Hey. What are you doing with my pizza?
JJazz
Ah, some pal you are. You don't even know any secret information.
[sees Top Cat opening the fire hydrant from his car] Now what's Top Cat up to? Tampering with a hydrant, huh? [stops his car] Top Cat, what's going on?
[sends a gush of water out of the hydrant] There she blows!
[the gush of water sprays in Dibble's face, filling his car up with water]
Hey, like, it's Officer Dibble!
Choo-Choo
Uh-oh! He ain't gonna like that!
[Dibble mouths "That Top Cat" in his water filled car]
Choo-Choo, come on, come on, let's get those trash cans emptied.
Choo-Choo
All of them, T.C.?
Of course, all of them. What do you think we are, sloppy or something?
Come on, fellas, come on. That captain will be here any minute. These guys expect me to do everything.
Oh no. Nobody could be that stupid.
[angry] I take it back. He is that stupid.
[the gang is being chased by mobsters]
Choo Choo
What do we do, T.C.?
We'll get some police protection!
Choo Choo
How? There isn't a cop in sight!
That's what you think, there's always one behind a billboard! [he proves his point by driving behind a billboard and chasing out a startled cop]
So we return the scarab back to the museum and everything will...
[interrupting] But what about Shirley, T.C.?
The Shirley who I gave the jade scarab to.
Looks like we'll have to, like er, snatch the scarab from Shirley.
Choo-Choo
Yeah, and unsnatch it back to the museum.
But, er, that'll be dangerous.
I know. There'll be police and nightwatchmen and burglar alarms but I think we can handle them.
That part's easy. Who's gonna handle Shirley?
Ok, Fancy, hit the breaks.
Hit the breaks, will you, Spook?
Yeah, the breaks, Chooch.
Choo-Choo
Quick, Brain, the breaks.
[sarcastically] That's what I like about you, Brain. You think of nothing.
[angry] Do me a favour, Brain. Don't tell anyone I know you.
[Dibble reads the note found with the baby]
Okay, Dibble, you satisfied?
Alright, so he was abandoned and you found him. Now hand him over!
But Dib, we were going to adopt the kid ourselves!
Are you kidding? YOU guys?
We'll take care of him, honest! Chooch knows how to handle diapers!
Oh, sure, pal. And what are you going to teach him, roulette?
We could take him to night school and put him through some courses...
Sorry, fellas. There's laws about recovering lost property and abandoned kids come under that heading.
We take the kid in and find him a new home.
Furthermore, before you can adopt a baby you have to be shown as a legal hardworking citizen, with a regular fixed income!
[loudly] Now will you cut out the stalling and give me the kid?
[the baby starts crying much to Benny and Choo Choo's horror]
Now you did it, now you woke up Charlie.
Choo Choo
We named him you Officer Dibble.
Yeah, Dib. We figured you might want to be the kid's godfather.
No kiddin'. That's real nice, you guys. But the baby's got to be taken in. It's regulations. [walks off] Come on, let's go.
[leaning against the fence] Okay, Benny. Dibble's gotta make his pinch for the day. At it might as well be someone he can handle. Give him the baby.
Choo Choo
Gee, I wish I could be tough and hard like T.C. He's got nerves of steel. Nothing upsets him.
Yeah, he's one real cool cat, man.
[weeping softly] You got a hanky I can borrow?
[to the amazement of the gang, Top Cat wipes his face on the handkerchief]
Well? What's the matter with you guys? Haven't you ever seen anyone with something in his eye before?
Choo Choo
[offscreen] Sure we did, T.C. But not you.
Man, ain't this heat a gas?
Like, I was making the public library scene.
Well, like, I was faking it, but this book is so far out, I got hooked. What a crazy, mixed-up story.
Choo Choo
What was it about, Spook?
Well, it starts out about an aardvark and ends up with everybody playing the xylophone.
"Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry."
"Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry?" Let me see that. [looks at the book] That's "Unabridged Dictionary"! What's the matter with you? That's nothing but words!
Oh, I thought it was kinda freeform.
This is it, T.C. Honeydew and her folks live up on the fourth floor.
Alright, Benny. Now you go on up and tell them we'll join them shortly. Brain and Fancy, you stay outside. We'll signal out of the window if we need more money.
Where will we get it? You took all we had.
Fake it, boy. Fake it. Spook and Choo-Choo, we've got to play poker like we've never played before.
Choo-Choo
Got'cha, coach.
Now then, do you boys remember the time I told you about in Philly a couple of years ago?
Choo-Choo
Where you ran into those army guys?
And you played poker, like, for two days?
You're remembering. And I came home and taught the game to you.
Choo-Choo
[gasps] You don't mean.....?
Not Acey-Deucy under my shoesy?
Choo-Choo
But T.C. That game ain't honest.
Yeah and besides, like, could we get away with it?
Gentlemen, it seems that we are face-to-face with the grim spectre of employment.
Choo-Choo
Now let's not be hasty, T.C.
Uh, we can discuss this calmly and, uh, sensibly.
Yeah, over a little game of, like, uh....
Top Cat · 56 quotes
