I don't see what all the fuss is about. Vampires only attack virgins!
[Awkward pause]
Yeah, uh, it's not myself I'm worried about, Vyv. It's Rick and Neil I'm worried about.
Me, a virgin? Ha! [Increasingly scared] Just try telling that to some of the foxy chicks who owe me favours!
Well, if Rick's not a virgin them I'm not either!
Well, we'll find out shortly, 'cause the vampire's gonna know, and if anyone gets attacked, then we'll know they're a sissy virgin! [Quietly] God, I hope snogging with SPG counts!
[Later]
He's gonna get us and turn us all into vampires! And we'll all be dead and yet still alive! Like Leonard Cohen!
Ok, guys! There's only one way out. We've all got to lose our virginity. Now!
But how, Mike? [Beat] Oh, no! Bags not Rick!
Bags not Vyv!
[Confused] Bags not... Neil?
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