Bunk Moreland quotes from The Wire

Bunk

Jimmy, the look on Jay Landsman's face, he nearly cried!

Lester

And Rawls! All afternoon, he just stays in his office with the door closed.

McNulty

Careful, you're giving me an erection!

McNulty

You see the preliminary? Positives for oral, vaginal, anal. No IDs, no passports, no visas, no real money - and the girls are coming across the water like that.

Bunk

Yeah.

Lester

McNulty has a theory...

Bunk

Does he now?

Lester

You deductive motherfucker, you.

Bunk

So he's gonna wander in here with some johnny-come-lately bullshit about how all these girls must be coming over here as prostitutes. Talking about how if they ain't got the cash to travel better than a container ship, then they sure as shit don't got the money to pay a plastic surgeon.

Lester

Then he's gonna go past that. And say something about that one found dead in the water - being tossed off the ship after she's already dead from a beat-down?

Bunk

But why did she get beat? He's gonna ask us that like we don't know.

Lester

Then he's gonna answer his own question, and say her swabs are negative, right? Fuck or fight with all them sailor boys - and she fought.

Bunk

So, it got a little rough, she got banged around, she comes up dead. And then, somebody panics and tosses her in the harbour overnight before the ship ties up.

Beadie

But the other girls saw.

Bunk

So now the other girls, they get told to get back in that can. And our man, to cover this shit up, he gets up on top and bangs down the airpipe. [stands up, sighs dramatically] Anything else you wanna tell us?

Bunk

How'd we do, Charlie?

I almost got one to swear that the docks are actually near the water.

Bunk

It’s you Lester, it’s gotta be you.

Lester

Me, huh?

Bunk

We need to bring in the Lieutenant, his detail and all of the manpower and toys that go with it. Daniels listens when you talk. You got the smell of wisdom on you brother. Now look, we all got roles to play.

Lester

What’s your role?

Bunk

I’m just a humble motherfucker with a big ass dick.

Lester

You give yourself too much credit

Bunk

OK then, I ain’t all that humble.

Rhonda

[reading an affadavit] You all cannot spell for shit.

Bunk

Well, would we be police if we could?

Herc

Lacrosse?

Bunk

What, a brother can't run with a stick? Jim Brown was an All-American midfielder at Syracuse.

Lester

You putting yourself beside Jim Brown?

Bunk

Lester, um, I'm, I'm just saying...

Daniels

I thought you were born in pinstripes!

Bunk

Lieutenant, I was under the impression that, uh, when detailed against his will to some backwards-ass, no-count, out-in-the-district, lost ball/tall-grass drug investigation, a veteran police of means and talent can wear whatever the fuck he damn well pleases.

Bunk

A different look for our boy.

McNulty

Yeah, Perry Ellis, or something.

Bunk

Now, how would a just-rolled-out-of-bed-looking motherfucker like you, know the designer?

McNulty

[pauses] Okay, I'm guessing.

Bunk

It's a Joseph Abboud. He puts dark buttons instead of brass on his blazers. That's the Abboud signature.

McNulty

You know what they call a guy who pays that much attention to his clothes, don't you?

Bunk

Mm-hmm, a grown-up.

Bunk

Boy, them Greeks and those twisted-ass names.

McNulty

Man, back off the Greeks. They invented civilization.

Bunk

Yeah? Ass-fucking, too.

Bunk

[types in "Peanut" in database] 89? And that's just the ones with Westside addresses.

Man, you got to narrow that shit down. Find some way to work with all them "Peanuts."

Bunk

Motherfucker, do I look like George Washington Carver?

Omar

Shoot, the way y'all looking at things, ain't no victim to even speak on.

Bunk

Bullshit, boy. No victim? I just came from Tosha's people, remember? All this death, you don't think it ripples out? You don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I was a few years ahead of you at Edmondson, but I know you remember the neighborhood, how it was. We had some bad boys, for real. Wasn't about guns so much as knowing what to do with your hands. Those boys could really rack. My father had me on the straight, but like any young man, I wanted to be hard too, so I'd turn up at all the house parties where the tough boys hung. Shit, they knew I wasn't one of them. Them hard cases would come up to me and say, "Go home, schoolboy, you don't belong here." Didn't realize at the time what they were doing for me. As rough as that neighborhood could be, we had us a community. Nobody, no victim, who didn't matter. And now all we got is bodies, and predatory motherfuckers like you. And out where that girl fell, I saw kids acting like Omar, calling you by name, glorifying your ass. Makes me sick, motherfucker, how far we done fell.

I saw only the one of them. He was black, big I thought. With a large weapon.

Bunk

BNBG.

[laughing] Big Negro, Big Gun.

Omar

I've got a bounty on my head man. Five figures! If I'd known I'd be sharing quarters with all these boys - I'd probably wouldn't have robbed so many of them.

Bunk

Aww, yeah, that golden rule.

Omar

[in a lockup room] Come on now, when have you ever known me to out my gun on someone thats not in the game?

Bunk

[laughing] Omar...

Omar Little

[as he is leaving prison] You my ride?

Bunk

I'm your mother fucking savior is what I am.

Bunk

You're going to jail behind this shit. Yes, you are. You know what they do to police in jail? Pretty police like yourself? Motherfucker, we have kids. Houses. Car payments. Furniture--Jimmy, I just bought brand new lawn chairs and a glass patio table. Now you don't buy no shit like that if you planning to lose your job and go to prison. You won't even get past the ME.

McNulty

Watch me.

Bunk

You're dumpin' murders on us that we can't solve, you're fucking the squad's clearance rate.

McNulty

Fuck the fucking numbers already! The fucking numbers destroyed this fucking department. Landsman and his clearance rate can suck a hairy asshole.

Bunk

Marlo ain't worth it, man. Nobody is.

McNulty

Marlo's an asshole. He does not get to win. WE get to win!