Ellis Carver quotes from The Wire

Carver

[about Herc, modeling sunglasses] His name is Head. Dick Head.

Carver

I like to think that until the handcuffs actually fit, there's still talking to be done.

Kima

Fighting the war on drugs... one brutality case at a time.

Carver

Girl, you can't even think of calling this shit a war.

Herc

Why not?

Carver

Wars end.

Carver

What he means to say is that we are an effective deterrent in the war on drugs when we are on the street.

Herc

Fucking motherfuckers up.

Carver

Indeed.

Herc

Fuck the paperwork. Collect bodies, split heads.

Carver

Split 'em wide.

Herc

The Western District way.

Carver

A'ight.

Kima

You rogue motherfuckers kill me. Fighting the war on drugs... one brutality case at a time.

Carver

Girl, you can't even think of calling this shit a war.

Herc

Why not?

Carver

Wars end.

McNulty

[after Sydnor comes out in disguise] Where's ya' mic?

Down at my dick man. I figured they ain't gonna go down there anyway right?

Carver

I don't know Sydnor, the way you twirlin' around, it might be the first place they look.

Herc

What the fuck was that?

Carver

That was my Korean counterman.

Herc

Sounded Chinese.

Carver

Like you can fucking tell the difference.

Carver

[observing Bodie beat a competing dealer with a bat] See, that's why we can't win.

Herc

Why not?

Carver

They fuck up, they get beat. We fuck up, they give us pensions.

Carver

Hey, don't waste film.

Herc

We've been here so fucking long that you're startin' to look good to me.

Herc

[cuing up the theme from "Shaft"] Carv. He's a complicated man, and the only one that understands him is his woman.

Carver

Seek therapy.

Herc

Anybody I want?

Carver

Anybody.

Herc

I want more than one. I want the Olsen Twins.

Carver

You got 'em. Slaves. All they live for is to get you off. But so now who are you gonna do for 'em? One guy, one act, one time.

Herc

Right, and the minute I name a guy, you're gonna be like, "I knew you're a cocksucker from the first time I laid eyes on you. Steve McQueen? Huh, that's your fantasy? You fucking closet case motherfucker."

Carver

Steve McQueen?

Herc

Fuck you. It's a setup.

Carver

Both Olson twins. Ashley. Kate...

Herc

Mary-Kate. And yeah, I admire her body of work.

Carver

They're yours. All you gotta do is name a guy.

Herc

I'm not catching, I'm pitching.

Carver

No problem.

Herc

It's like one of those nature shows. You mess with the environment, some species get fucked out of their habitat.

Carver

Did you just use the word 'habitat' in a sentence?

Herc

I did.

Colvin

This drug thing, this ain't police work. I mean, I can send any fool with a badge and a gun to a corner to jack a crew and grab vials. But policing? I mean you call something a war, and pretty soon everyone is going to be running around acting like warriors. They gonna be running around on a damn crusade, storming corners, racking up body counts. And when you at war, you need a fucking enemy. And pretty soon, damn near everybody on every corner is your fucking enemy. And soon, the neighborhood you're supposed to be policing, that's just occupied territory. You follow this?

Carver

Think so.

Colvin

Okay The point I'm making is this: Soldiering and policing, they ain't the same thing. And before we went and took the wrong turn and start up with these war games, the cop walked a beat, and he learned that post. And if there were things that happened on that post, where there be a rape, a robbery, or a shooting, he had people out there helping him, feeding him information. But every time I came to you, my DEU sergeant, for information, to find out what's going on out on them streets... all that came back was some bullshit. You had your stats, your arrests, your seizures, but don't none of that amount to shit when it comes to protecting the neighborhood, now do it? [sighs] You know, he worst thing about this, so-called drug war, to my mind...it just, it ruined this job.

Carver

Okay, so let's try this again. I say, "Have a good evening, Mr. Broadus!"

Bodie

And a good evening to you, Sgt. Carver.

Carver

See.

Bodie

And a VERY good evening to you, Officer Collichio!

Fuck yourself with a 40, shit-breath.

Carver

The young man seems to think highly of you boss. He invoked your name with a measure of respect.

Colvin

It wasn't but a few weeks ago when I was in a room with him being called everything but a child of God. "Mr. Colvin sir. Fuck you."

Namond

Yo' at least I said mister.

Carver

[abut Namond] His mother... [shakes head]

Colvin

Lovely lady. What she say?

Carver

"Put that bitch in baby booking where he belong. Let him learn something."