Bunk Moreland quotes from The Wire

Bunk

[to McNulty] That will teach you to give a fuck when it ain't your turn to give a fuck.

Bunk

[to dead body] You moldering motherfucker don't even think about coming back a murder. Don't even think of that shit.

Bunk

The thing of it is, Lieutenant... Jimmy McNulty, when he ain't policing he's a picture postcard of a drunken, self-destructive fuck-up. And when he is policing... he's pretty much the same motherfucker. But on a good case, he runnin' in front of the pack. That's as close as the man comes to bein' right.

Bunk

I bet you there's a fucking police detective somewheres else looking at a table full of heads right now.

Bunk

All night you been drinkin' like your ass is candy.

Bunk

Better to be lucky than to be good.

Bunk

The Bunk is strictly a suit-and-tie motherfucker.

Bunk

He's tellin' it like a bitch. We even went to Mickey D's for him because he was so motherfuckin' helpful. Two quarterpounders. Big fries. MacDonaldland cookies. Dr. Pepper... That's how your boy roll, right?

Bunk

The bigger the lie, the more they believe.

Bunk

You've lost your fucking mind, Jimmy. Look at you. Half-lit every third night, dead drunk every second. Nut deep in random pussy. What little time you are sober and limp-dicked, you're working murders that don't even exist!

Bunk

I'm a murder police. I work murders. I don't fuck with no make-believe. I don't jerk shit around. I catch a murder, and I work it.

McNulty

How happy am I to see my pager go off with your call number?

Bunk

Smoke 'em if you got 'em, because this muthafucka is as ripe as they get.

McNulty

We aren't up. Nolan's squad is up.

Bunk

I know, I know.

McNulty

But you had to answer the fuckin' phone, didn't you?

Bunk

I gotta pay down my credit cards, man.

McNulty

Not off him, you ain't. Motherfucker, I leave you alone for a minute or two, what do you do?

Bunk

All right, I heard ya!

McNulty

Well, say the words, Bunk.

Bunk

Oh, come on, man.

McNulty

Speak to me.

Bunk

So you gonna cut and run on the Bunk? That shit ain't right, Jimmy. All right then, this is my case, my file. This shit comes back a murder, you ain't gotta do shit but stand there and laugh at me. You happy now, ya bitch?

McNulty

This'll teach you to give a fuck when it ain't your turn to give a fuck.

Bunk

It ain't even gonna be a murder. This muthafucka probably came in here to take a shit or somethin' and just fell out. I betcha there ain't nothin' to it.

McNulty

[turns to leave] You hope.

Bunk

Where you goin'?

McNulty

Back to the office, where I belong.

Bunk

You... molderin' muthafucka, don't even think about comin' back a murder. Don't even think of that shit.

Bunk Moreland

So, you're my eyeball witness, huh? [Omar nods] So, why'd you step up on this?

Omar

Bird triflin', basically. Kill an everyday workin' man and all. I mean, I do some dirt, too, but I ain't never put my gun on nobody that wasn't in the game.

Bunk

A man must have a code.

Omar

Oh, no doubt.

McNulty

You know why I respect you so much, Bunk?

Bunk

Mm-mmm.

McNulty

It's not 'cause you're good police, 'cause, y'know, fuck that, right?

Bunk

Mm. Fuck that, yeah.

McNulty

It's not 'cause when I came to homicide, you taught me all kinds of cool shit about . . . well, whatever.

Bunk

Mm. Whatever.

McNulty

It's 'cause when it came time for you to fuck me . . . you were very gentle.

Bunk

You damn right.

McNulty

See, 'cause you could have hauled me out of the garage and just bent me over the hood of a radio car, and . . . no, you were, you were very gentle.

Bunk

I knew it was your first time. I wanted to make that shit special.

McNulty

It was, man. It fucking was.

Bunk

You got these off the boat?

McNulty

What, in winter? In a couple of months... fringe benefit. Can't catch crabs in homicide, right?

Bunk

Uh-uh... except maybe the occasional emergency room nurse every now and then.