Herc quotes from The Wire

Kima

Fighting the war on drugs... one brutality case at a time.

Carver

Girl, you can't even think of calling this shit a war.

Herc

Why not?

Carver

Wars end.

Carver

What he means to say is that we are an effective deterrent in the war on drugs when we are on the street.

Herc

Fucking motherfuckers up.

Carver

Indeed.

Herc

Fuck the paperwork. Collect bodies, split heads.

Carver

Split 'em wide.

Herc

The Western District way.

Carver

A'ight.

Kima

You rogue motherfuckers kill me. Fighting the war on drugs... one brutality case at a time.

Carver

Girl, you can't even think of calling this shit a war.

Herc

Why not?

Carver

Wars end.

Herc

What the fuck was that?

Carver

That was my Korean counterman.

Herc

Sounded Chinese.

Carver

Like you can fucking tell the difference.

Carver

[observing Bodie beat a competing dealer with a bat] See, that's why we can't win.

Herc

Why not?

Carver

They fuck up, they get beat. We fuck up, they give us pensions.

Herc

How about you come on the raids tomorrow? Take a few doors for ol' time sake.

Kima

You takin' doors?

Herc

Yeah. Two houses an' a bar on Kane Street. C'mon Kima, mount up wit' us. I know you miss it.

Kima

I'm done rollin' around the gutter. I am inside now.

Herc

Oh, you're a house cat now, huh?

Kima

I made a promise.

Herc

I gotta say Kima, if you were a guy, and actually in some ways you're better than most of the guys I know. But if you were a guy, friends would buy you a beer and let you know.

Kima

Let me know what?

Herc

You're fuckin' whipped.

Kima

Whipped?

Herc

Pussy whipped within an inch of your life. I kid you not.

Herc

Fucking white boys, I love 'em. I fucking love 'em.

Kima

Yeah?

Herc

Dumb as a box of rocks.

Kima

Who?

Herc

White boys. Talking about the brain-deads in my Kane Street case. I call him up, I tell him I wanna buy some drugs. You know what he says? Says "Okay, I'll sell you the drugs. How much drugs do you want?" I swear to God, Kima, they don't code it, they don't ask for a meet, nothin'. And then when you make the deal, there's no runner, no bullshit. It's the guy himself walking up to you in the parking lot, saying: "I brought the drugs. Did you bring the money?" [Kima chuckles] I'm not kidding. I have much respect for black people after working with these idiots for two weeks. Seriously, white boys wanna sell drugs in Baltimore, they'll have to make different laws for it. Like even it out for them.

Kima

Affirmative action.

Herc

Leave no white man behind.

Herc

Lacrosse?

Bunk

What, a brother can't run with a stick? Jim Brown was an All-American midfielder at Syracuse.

Lester

You putting yourself beside Jim Brown?

Bunk

Lester, um, I'm, I'm just saying...

Daniels

I thought you were born in pinstripes!

Bunk

Lieutenant, I was under the impression that, uh, when detailed against his will to some backwards-ass, no-count, out-in-the-district, lost ball/tall-grass drug investigation, a veteran police of means and talent can wear whatever the fuck he damn well pleases.

Carver

Hey, don't waste film.

Herc

We've been here so fucking long that you're startin' to look good to me.

Herc

[cuing up the theme from "Shaft"] Carv. He's a complicated man, and the only one that understands him is his woman.

Carver

Seek therapy.

Herc

Anybody I want?

Carver

Anybody.

Herc

I want more than one. I want the Olsen Twins.

Carver

You got 'em. Slaves. All they live for is to get you off. But so now who are you gonna do for 'em? One guy, one act, one time.

Herc

Right, and the minute I name a guy, you're gonna be like, "I knew you're a cocksucker from the first time I laid eyes on you. Steve McQueen? Huh, that's your fantasy? You fucking closet case motherfucker."

Carver

Steve McQueen?

Herc

Fuck you. It's a setup.

Carver

Both Olson twins. Ashley. Kate...

Herc

Mary-Kate. And yeah, I admire her body of work.

Carver

They're yours. All you gotta do is name a guy.

Herc

I'm not catching, I'm pitching.

Carver

No problem.

Herc

It's like one of those nature shows. You mess with the environment, some species get fucked out of their habitat.

Carver

Did you just use the word 'habitat' in a sentence?

Herc

I did.