Carver quotes from The Weekenders

Tish

Lor, don't you think you're being a tad melodramatic?

Carver

A tad? More like five tads and sixteen smidgins.

Lor

Have you seen The World's Funniest Medical Blunders?

Carver

I have. Once, this guy swallowed his dentures and when the doctors gave him an x-ray, his kidneys were smiling back at him.

Tish

Don't you want to broaden your minds?

Lor

Our minds are already broad enough.

Carver

Yeah, I already have trouble finding hats that fit.

Carver

How do you spell handsome?

M-e-l G-i-b-s-o-n.

Carver

Interesting. And how did you obtain your data?

Tino

I made it up.

Carver

I see.

Carver

Those geeks...those geeks.. Those geeks are my friends!

Tino

Way to go Carver! Wait, did he just say geeks?

Carver

You guys are toast.

Tino

Well you're double toast.

Lor

You're triple toast.

Tish

You're *French* toast.

Tino

*French* toast?

Tish

[sighs] It's been a long day.

Lor

Go fish.

Carver

We're playing Crazy Eights.

Tino

You're going to be combing pudding out of your hair!

Carver

You can't comb dreads!

Tino

So, Carv, imagine the worst thing that can happen if you went back on the radio.

Carver

Well, I go in, totally choke really bad, get suspended from school, get kicked out by my parents, hop a freight train out west, get arrested for being a hobo, and end up in a chain gang with a guy named Lenny who calls me George and keeps talking about the rabbits.

Tino

OK...you're not allowed to use your imagination anymore.

Carver

I am clearly not fit to be the voice of Bahia Bay. Don't worry, I'm completely content with being the voice of total failure.

Lor

You could start with being the voice of mediocrity and work your way down from there. [Tish elbows her in the ribs] What'd I say?

Lor

[As the gang celebrates getting yearbook superlatives] I'm gonna have "Most athletic" tattooed to my face!

Carver

Oh man, I was gonna do that, only with "best shoes".

Lor

Why would you wanna tattoo "best shoes" to my face?