Moving on. I have received an entry form for the Best Kept Village competition. Any thoughts?
Yes, tear it up.
I beg your pardon?
Months of effort and what would we win? Some pointless poncy piece of paper saying : Dibley, Best Kept Village.
No no no no, it's not just a bit of paper; it's a title, a trophy. It's a cheque for two hundred and forty thousand pounds, presented by the Duchess of Kent.
No, that's Wimbledon, Jim.
Yes, that is Wimbledon.
Oh, come on. We did all right last year.
We came fifty-fourth out of fifty-four!
Is that right?
Remember Denfield?
Well, how could one forget those poor people?
Yes. Who would have believed a lorry-load of BSE-infected toxic waste would have crashed into a nuclear fuel tanker causing a crater two hundred feet wide and the evacuation of the entire village?
And they came fifty-third.
Point taken.
[crumples the form]
Let's forget it.
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