TV QuotesDatabase
S1 E15

The Vicar of Dibley · Season 1, Episode 15

Geraldine, David and others in “Unfinished Business”

I think we have a caller on line one. Hello, caller.

Vicar, is that you?

It is indeed. Is that David Horton, local councilor, chairman of the parish?

You know bloody well who it is. I'm ringing up about this interview tomorrow.

David, I feel I should warn you, we are actually live on--

I'm cancelling. I'm sorry. I don't want that moron Alice asking me damn fool questions.

David.

And it's no good telling me you'll get someone else, because frankly they're all zombies. Frank, Newitt, Jim - I've got sheep who do a more probing interview. Have to cancel--talk to you later.

Uh, David. Just before you go, just between you and me, how are your hemorrhoids?

Well... They're terrible if you must know.

Aw. Really painful? Very embarrassing? Bit like a bunch of grapes hanging out your bottom?

... Yes, well it is actually. My lavatory hasn't know what's hit it in the last few weeks.

Aw. Aw. Well thank you, David "Hemorrhoid" Horton for sharing that with us live on the Dibley Radio call-in. Anything else you'd like to add?

[silence] ... [fake German accent] And this is Rory Bremner now, using my real voice. I bet I had you all fooled, eh? Ha ha ha!

Zombies? He's got nerve.

No, no, no, that's right. I'm not going to watch his show anymore.

Nor me.

Bloody Bremner!

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More The Vicar of Dibley quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Vicar of Dibley pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.