The Vampire Diaries quotes

Elena

Just because Jeremy is a bad student doesn't mean that he's cheating on Bonnie.

Damon

You're making excuses for someone you love. That's what you do. The worse the behavior, the more you try and defend.

Elena

And you keep trying to make this about us.

Damon

Yeah, because you keep trying to make it about anything else.

Elena

You know what? Fine. But don't pretend that you came here for Jeremy. If you want to talk about last night, talk.

Damon

Here's the thing, Elena, I don't know what to say or do or think. All I know is that right now I want to rip your clothes off right here in the middle of this hall and throw you in one of these classrooms and kiss every square inch of your body while a bunch of people that drive minivans listen, wishing they were us. (pauses) That's probably a bad idea, right?

Elena

Right.

Damon

Right. (bell rings) See you in class.

Elena

Enough.

Damon

Hardly. She [Liv] was two seconds away form killing you. I want to know why, so I am gonna rip this nasty rag out of your mouth. If I hear so much as one syllable of hocus-pocus, one of us is gonna break your neck. Spoiler alert- it's gonna be me.

Jeremy

How do you expect me to care about anything when this is my life? Take a look around. It's not like I could bring my teachers a note saying "sorry I missed class today, we were under a doppelgänger invasion."

Elena

Caroline, if you bite your tongue any harder, you'll bleed. Say it.

Caroline

It's Psych 101. Actually it's whatever comes before 101. You told Damon that you couldn't see him anymore, and now you're having dreams about Stefan?

Elena

It's not just about Stefan, ok. My parents were still alive. It was like a different life.

Caroline

(answering phone) Stefan. Hey.

Stefan

Hey.

Caroline

Is everything ok?

Stefan

Well, you know how sometimes you feel crazy and you call me and I tell you you're not crazy?

Caroline

Even thought most of the time I am.

Stefan

Well, I need you to tell me that I'm not crazy.

Caroline

No promises.

Stefan

I was walking to my car, and I nearly got plowed over in the middle of the street because I was having some vision of Elena.

Caroline

I take that back. Actually, you are not crazy at all. Something's going on.

Damon

(not answering Elena's call) Damon: One, Temptation: Zero.

Enzo

(answering Caroline's call) Temptation: One, Enzo-- Hello Gorgeous.

Damon

Liv has a twin? Is it possible for there to just be one of someone around here?

Elena

Perfect. A dead old guy with a mysterious, evil plan.

Elena

What are you doing out here?

Damon

Oh, you know. Looking at the stars, listening to the universe laughing at me.

Elena

Damon...

Damon

We were doomed from the beginning, Elena. We were always gonna end up here.

Elena

Damon...they're just visions. As soon as we find Markos, they'll stop.

Damon

And then what? We're friends? Can't wait.

Damon

I'm gonna staple your tongue to your chin.

Elena

Do you think Damon and I will ever be able to talk like this? Like friends?

Stefan

I think you can either be friends with someone or in love with them. I don't think you can be both.

Damon

We need some rules here. Because if I'm not allowed to drive you home then I definitely don't think you're allowed to ambush me in my bedroom.

Elena

[in the visions] I saw...a perfect life. Stefan and I were married, we had kids... It was everything that we wanted.

Damon

Well, we could always ask Markos to put 'em back-

Elena

But it's not real. You and I? We're messy and complicated, but...we're real.

Damon

And really bad for each other. Did you forget that part?

Damon

No, Elena, I can't be your friend. It's too damn hard.

Elena

Damon-

Damon

No, I'm serious, Elena - I can't see you anymore. I don't wanna hear your voice, I don't wanna talk to you, I don't even want to look at you, and I sure as hell don't want to be your friend.

Damon

Oh, I’m so sorry to interrupt...whatever weird ritual you two were doing but, I just wanted to de-passenger the great citizens of Mystic Falls using the magical Traveler knife so, hand it over.

Matt

It’s gonna be a problem...

Damon

Five words that make me wanna vamp-toss my keys into your chest cavity. Little Gilbert, help me in the fight against my dark side and elaborate, please.

Jeremy

We can’t find it.

Damon

As in, you lost it?

Matt

As in, it’s not here!

Damon

You're right. Don’t invite me in, because I will kill both of you.

Enzo

I can't join my friends for a cup of tea?

Stefan

Damon, your friend, uh, singular, isn't here, and we're a little busy right now.